Jay Valens on October 9th, 2008

Here’s Part 5 of the Foundations for Tactics & Techniques. Additional coverage on the broad strokes of attraction!

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5 Responses to “Foundations, Part 5: More Attraction”

  1. stunning girl, she should smile a bit more that’s all.

    i loved the poor example of qualifying “um italians are cool!” ha ha love you guys. definitely in the future release more “bad examples” with the good, so more people can become aware if they are actually throwing out something in a not so cool manner

  2. HAHA, yeah, we have to show the bad stuff, too, and let you know it’s the wrong way. And, believe it or not, these are just the broad examples… we haven’t even gotten to the real meat yet, the actual detailed examples. It’s just introduction stuff, and doesn’t even begin to show off the interactivity we designed into the program.

  3. Hi Jay,

    I give a mini FR on the ” name three things you got going for you besides being kinda cute.” I’ve been using that for a few years but with a little twist not shown in the video. Its hard to describe so let me just give you a rough transcript from last night.

    “name three things…”
    And she responds ” well I’m funny.” and of course this answer deserves a reward.
    ” funny is good, it’s one of the best qualities to have, so you like to laugh?” “yes, and I love to make people laugh” “well you do having a laughing smile?” her blushing “thanks”
    “so do you like slipping on a banana peel funny or verbal humor?” ( letting me know what funny stories to tell later” “Oh I love verbal humor, You know I do voice impressions” so I let her do a voice impression or two and we have a good laugh. I throw in my bill murray voice impression ( setting the stage for where I want to go eventually)
    then, since she likes verbal humor We progress into discussing our favorite comedians. She starts with Robin Williams, and our discussions turns to his humorous movies. As the conversation (limited by the number of movies ) appears to stalling, I say ” but I like Robin williams in his serious films as well, I love Good will Hunting”
    Now I pick this because it switches the flow from the funny to the serious and romantic. That is the pattern I want to set up. When that discussion ends, I asked about Bill Murray ( i’ve been planning on getting here someway) She loves caddy shack. This segways into a funny story about when I was a kid and spent a summer as a caddy. As luck would have it her brother is a pro tour caddy, which leads into a discussion about how she sucks at golf because her arms are too short, which leads to me making a joke about what TREX would look like golfing. and she laughs of course. Then I make the same transition, from Bill Murray funny to Bill Murray serious
    ( razors edge) which of course she hasnt seen. After a brief description, I segway into Ground hog day. which is both funny and romantic. And we talk about her favorite scene. a romantic one of course. At this point I comment on how its funny that Bill Murray spends many lives trying to pretend that he likes what she likes and that he really only succeeds when he forgets about trying to impress people and discovers himself by helping others” Here again we’ve gone from the funny to the romantic, linking the two ( you can do the same thing with steve martin) At this point I switch to Adam Sandler and of course she loves him and we start with discussing ‘happy gilmore” golf, her brother, the rest of her family. I mention billy madison and then SHE switches to this ” what was that movie where he sang that song to drew barrymore on the plane.. i wanna grow old with you” ‘”why thats wedding singer, drew barrymore and adam sandler make such a cute funny couple, but their best movie was 50 first dates” She of course loved that one and we proceeded to talk about how romantic it was that he worked everyday to make her fall in love with him. Now of course guys chances of repeating this conversation exactly are pretty slim, its more like a tactic turned into a conversational strategy. And that strategy is to turn her qualification of herself into a conversation extender, an opportunity to give her additional IOIs, opportunities to DHV. For example , while we talked about bill Murray I told her the funny story about how I met him and the hilarious conversation we had. True story and very funny. Now at the end of her first question I know the movies she likes, what makes her laugh, Ive connected humor and romantic feelings, learned about her family. 30 minutes has passed and as this thread winds down you transition to the second trait she has. WHich is ” shes a hard worker” Which leads to a compliment and then exploration. She works at a car restoration place and loves cars.
    So all I have to do is explore this some more and find a way to link cars into romance or sex. Which is easy. her favorite car leads to my favorite car, which is my favorite because it was the place where I first kissed a girl ( big fat lie) which leads to her first kiss. Again her qualification leads to a compliment leads to a discussion that ends with hints at a hook up. She’s good enough for me. At this point we are about 45 minutes into it and isolated from the crowd. Which now leads to the last qualification:
    she says she is “open to new experiences”
    Like “carpe diem” I say. And from there I think anyone can fill in the details. Later my roomate/wingman asked me how I did it.

    ‘I used name three things” he didnt get it. But its simple. You merely find a way to move from her qualifying answer to a discussion about ‘relationships” and before that thread dies down, you have an immediate bridge. her second answer.
    But youve set up a pattern. She qualifies herself. You compliment. and then you demonstrate ( dont explicitly state) how her qualities qualify her to have a relationship with you. I never bring up sex explicitly. Sometime they do. And sometime by the third question they
    will unconsciously steer the conbersation according to the pattern you’ve set up.Now its not always possible to make this transition from her quality to a hook up and sometimes its takes quite a while or some imagination. But ” name three things” is more than just a routine, at least how I use it

    One Last example: girl says shes a “fantastic kindergarten teacher” that was a hard one, but I plowed on, what did she like about it, not like about it. She liked her ability to make an impression on kids. Boom! i transition to this ” yes I remember my kindergarten teacher”
    her ” why did you have a crush on her” me: “no i had a crush on my second grade student teacher Ms Spoolstra” at which point she discusses teachers she had crushes on, and we are right in the middle of a conversation about what she liked about them.
    “they were smart funny confident not afraid to talk, older and more mature” can you says who’s your daddy? So give it a try. Turn “name three things” into a conversational strategy and not just a routine. warning this requires good calibration skills, patience and plowing skills.

  4. Hi Tristam,

    Great report, thanks for sharing it here. Its a good example of taking one routine, and really making it your own. In your case, you can almost always get to the humor thread, even if the girl never says humor is one of her qualities, you could just say “you know, a lot of people say humor is their best quality… (pause) seen any funny movies lately?” Then you transition to your Bill Murray thread and your DHVs.

    I sometimes describe this like the girl being a moth that flew into your spider web routine, all roads lead to the same conclusion.

    We have a big section of our videos where we talk specifically about the dynamics of customizing your own routines, and making your own routines that are specifically your own.

    For a great example of just how much you can tweak a single routine, be sure to check out the special report I wrote for “The Four Secret Questions” which you can download here on this site. Its over 20 pages of info for just one routine, it is one of the most powerful routines I have ever used.

  5. Thanks for the advice Ray, I’l remember that one.

    The spider web analogy is a good one. I try to explain to my friends that there is a reason why women like romantic comedies. it’s somewhat NLP like.


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