Ray Devans on October 2nd, 2008

A lot of guys have a hard time initiating touch with a woman, or they do it wrong.  It’s important to touch a woman early on when meeting her, for many reasons.  If you don’t touch her at all she is going to have you in the “just friends” category, or that category in her mind that indirectly thinks “he isn’t interested in sex”.

Establishing touch early on does all the right things.  It lets her know that you are not looking to “just be friends”.  If done right, it automatically releases good chemicals in her body (specifically a hormone called oxytocin) that make her feel good and happy and relaxed.  Also, it is the first step in a progression of touch that gets increasingly intimate over time and makes the eventual transition to kissing and sex really natural and easy.

So a great little tactic I started doing naturally a long time and that I use frequently to establish touch is simply to compare hand size with a woman.  You can do it at any time, you can even interrupt whatever you are saying and sort of “happen” to notice her hands and just say:

“Let me see your hand”

At the same time, you can put your hand out with fingers outstretched.  The clear meaning is she should put up her hand to yours, and if she does this you have also figured out that she is open to being led by you, and this is a great first sign!

If she doesn’t immediately put up her hand you simply reach out and bring her hand up to yours.  Now, there are a few possibilities.  If she has really small hands you can comment on that.  If she has really slender fingers you can comment on that.  Maybe she has well manicured nails and you can compliment her for taking care of herself.  If she has been being a brat and has big hands, you can bring her down a notch and tease her that her hands are almost bigger than yours.

You can even move from this into other forms of prolonged hand contact, like playful thumb wrestling, palm reading, playing mercy, hand slapping game, whatever.   If I am alone with her when I do this I will often just start holding her hand and keep talking naturally.   Or I will let her hand rest on my hand from above, and if she doesn’t take it back that is also a green light that she is interested.

Anyway, there are a lot of variations and some subtleties, but generally this is a great technique to use and its part of my bread and butter.  I’m happy to answer any questions on this.


Continue reading about A Simple Touch Tactic