Bootcamp Comments 001

17 Responses to “Bootcamp Comments 001”

1. Lawrence
   November 6th, 2008 at 4:33 pm

   The first assignment: complement.

   At the parts department of Beaver Toyota (true), a really cute latina was working behind the counter. She asked the, “May I help you” question. She had a really nice voice and way of speaking. After “business,” I told her, “You have such a beautiful voice.” She smiled sweetly and said, “Thank you.” I introduced myself and she introduced herself, “Maria.” I said, “Mucho gusto.” She asked, in Spanish, if I spoke Spanish. I said, “Un poquito.” She said that I spoke very well. I thanked her and made my good-bye.

   The second assignment: If someone were to compliment you …

   I asked this of a cute girl working at the mall. She paused, then said, “I don’t know.” After a moment, she said, “that I was a really good person.” I took that in for a moment, but had a bit of brain lock and couldn’t do anything with it — anyhow, that wasn’t the drill. I said, instead, “OK, and if you were to give me a compliment, what would it be.” She said, “That’s a nice shirt.” I said, “I’ve been told that, before. Thank you.” Then, I introduced myself and she introduced herself. I said, “Nice to meet you” and then made my exit.

2. Jay Valens
   November 6th, 2008 at 10:00 pm

   That’s great. I know the interactions were “cut off” in the sense of not being taken further, but you can see how once you’re “in the swing of it”, that will become easier and easier and… it’s actually not so hard. :)

3. hui
   November 17th, 2008 at 4:28 pm

   code - yvrgk4dDpV6zfUOe

   I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me!
   I’m not afraid of approaching/talking to women when 1 on 1. And can sometimes be really good but only if I’m in mood.
   But I start feeling uneasy when there are people around!Especially when I’m getting bad reaction from the girl. Have no idea how I’m suppose to re-frame! ‘n if I continue talking I look like a try hard with way less value therefore I kinda say some C&F and walk away with of course a nice BL, smile ‘n attitude!=(

4. Lawrence
   November 18th, 2008 at 10:20 pm

   The Hardest Thing: Approaching Women in a Bar Setting, whether alone or in sets

   So, I did four:

   One woman, solo:
   I had a copy of the local “What’s Happening in Town” publication. I went up to her and asked if it was any good, as a reference. She said, Yes. I introduced my self; she introduced herself. I asked her if she was local; she said, “Yes.” and asked where I was from. We did the “Where are you from” conversation, then I thanked her and closed the conversation.

   Three women sitting together:
   I walked up slowly to where they were sitting and somewhat of an angle, stopped. A performer was playing in the bar, the usual “too loud for conversation” volume level. The girls were talking. I opened, speaking loudly, “How can you have a conversation in a place like this?” One of them responded, “We come here all the time.” I said, “How can you hear?” She couldn’t hear me. One of the other girls said something that I couldn’t hear. I smiled, waved goodbye, left.

   Five women at a table:
   I had heard them laughing, earlier. I walked up casually, stopped and looked into the set, caught the attention of three of them. I said, “It’s nice hearing you all having a good time.” One of them said, “We’re having a meeting.” The others paused talking. I said, “This is a meeting? Sounds like you’re having fun.” They paused politely. I said something like, “Have a good night,” and moved on.

   Two girls walked up to the entrance:
   I saw them, walked up. “Come on in. The music’s fine.” I introduced myself. They introduced themselves; both their names were Karen. One of them said something about having a third friend named Karen, also. I said, “That must be fun, knowing which Karen you’re talking to. I’m sitting over there; if you’d like to join me, you’re welcome.” I went back to my table. Some time later, they drifted by and looked my way. I pointed to a chair in front of one of them and said, “Sit!” She sat, and so did the other Karen. During conversation, I said that I can often tell a lot about a person by feeling her hands. That got us into my reading the quality of their lives by feeling how their hands felt, then had them feel my hands and told them that they were very sensitive due to the work that I do. Talked about where they were from and what their lives were like. After a while, they moved on.

5. M.
   November 19th, 2008 at 11:35 pm

   [Code: 31kVQUb05XZNcLmlo]

   I’ve always had trouble just conversating. So over the past week I approached several different women, some in 2- or 3- sets, and tried to just talk about whatever came up. Although I did fairly well in “just talkin”, I don’t feel it was the right subjects(?). So I don’t know if it helped me any in feeling comfortable(being able(?)) steering a conversation so as to increase attraction.

   Then again I’m still having a little trouble feeling comfortable in cold approaches.

6. Jay Valens
   November 20th, 2008 at 12:37 am

   Hui - There’s no magic way to not feeling uneasy with people around. Just accept it and do it anyway. When you get past this, especially after a few times, you will see that it’s possible to both feel uneasy about something, but do it anyway. Only then will it become a non-issue.

   What you may be looking for is a way to avoid feeling uneasy. I’m giving you the answer. Accept it, and do it anyway. Have you read the first newsletter that goes out on our main mailing list, the one titled “Confidence = Turning Fear into Courage”? It covers exactly this.

   Lawrence - On your first conversation, keep in mind for your future approaches, when a woman asks where you’re from, even under polite conversation it is a subtle sign of interest. Also, when she said that the publication was, indeed, good, that offers you the opportunity to ask her about something good she got from it recently. Whatever story she relays can then lead to a more interesting interaction.

   The second interaction… feh, whatever. You’re just getting past your willingness to approach in those situations, so it went fine, it’ll get better the more you do it.

   The third interaction. Hm, well, you are giving up too easy on challenging replies back. I think some other “experts” will tell you that you should say X, Y or Z in response, whereas I will suggest that you won’t get such responses in the first place if your vibe was more calibrated. My guess is that you’re not relaxed and casual enough in your body language and that is triggering a challenging put-off type response from the groups. Do some relaxation exercises occasionally.

   The fourth interaction. I’d have said “That’s an amazing coincidence, because my middle name is Karen.” for added humor but beyond that, you did just fine. You handled yourself well in that situation and I think the extra progression you could have made was to gage which one had the most interest and progress a little bit further with her, get a #, etc.

   M. - In time, your comfort with it level will increase. At some some point, even, the approaches will stop feeling “cold” and the vibe that you approach with will be as if you’ve already known the girls for years. You can try practicing that sort of thinking, pretending you already know them. Role-playing is also a great way to handle that, we cover it in both AOTP & AOTP:TT. Girls LOVE role-playing, and when you get the hang of it, you can lead them a lot more easily and it also opens a lot of doors to steering the conversation into more playful and sexual directions.

7. Lawson
   November 23rd, 2008 at 10:22 pm

   1za5VUdANDChUq4tc

   Week 4, Mission 1

   I completed this mission by approaching the most attractive girls I could find in each venue, opening them and their friends, starting a conversation, and bringing up sex in the conversation. I did this twice, and I did it this way:

   A friend of mine is Shaman and is also well versed in Graphology. She gave a lecture at my college in handwriting analysis and said that an interesting way to determine a person’s sexual capacity as well as their capacity for secrecy is to have them write “going going gone” several times in cursive. The loop in the g’s indicating their sexual capacity (big means big and small means small) and their indicating their capacity for secrecy (closed is secretive and opened is not).

   I had already been sitting in a bar/pizza parlor, writing this on a piece of paper before I got the idea to open with this. I went inside the coffee shop next door and dropped the piece of paper on a table on my way to the counter to greet the staff (whom I’ve befriended). On my way back, I slowed down as I passed the girls and stopped in front of them and smiled, making eye contact with both.

   Me: Do you know what it means?
   Cute Persian girls: No, was it that you had disappeared?
   Me: No, actually my friend just gave a lecture on Graphology…

   Then I explained it and had them write it out on the back.

   Their g’s were huge (big g’s=very sexual) so I teased them about this in kind of a “ha, I caught you” sort of way

   Overall, the opener seemed kind of lame to me, seeing as I prefer a more dynamic approach, but both girls were sweet and receptive. It was interesting to see them have a kind of wtf response when I ejected, and this was somewhat flattering.

   In truth, I probably should have stayed, and I regret NOT staying because I know I COULD have. I admit that I was afraid of running out of things to say, and there in lies the problem: I get hung up on trying to be the cool guy. I get stuck in my own head. Bad. I can tell I still have a lot of my work cut out for me because this is something that I really struggle with.

   The next attempt, I did this almost the exact same way at another coffee shop. The girls were even MORE receptive, but again, I ejected early for the aforementioned reason.

   Missions 2 and 3:

   It occurred to me a few weeks ago that learning to seduce is comparable to learning a musical instrument. Both must be learned consciously first before the skill can be streamlined, and both must be practiced regularly in order to be mastered more quickly.

   With this in mind, I decided to approach most of the women I see, every single day. By doing this, I have approached nearly 70 women in the last three weeks.
   Now when I see a girl, the desire to approach her is becoming almost like an automatic response. For the most part, I have used dynamic approaches, and I experiment with different things.

   For example, I took a good friend of mine out with me one night just to walk around the downtown square and maybe get some food. As we were talking, I notice a knockout girl in a beret, black pea coat, black hair, olive skin and knee length black leather boots walking towards us. I told my friend to point at her as if he were a little kid again and she was someone he’d seen on TV, and she giggled and talked to us. It was really only the first thing I could thing of, but I guess it’s one way to stop a girl to talk.

   Anyways, I hope I’m not too late in posting this. Let me know if there’s anything I need to clarify.

   Lawson

8. Lawson
   November 23rd, 2008 at 10:25 pm

   oh PS- I have been working with that same friend on approaching women, and that’s how I completed mission 2. I completed mission 3 by making almost all of my approaches dynamic.

9. Chris
   November 27th, 2008 at 1:04 am

   Wm9VZcCmcGqtodglE

   Please excuse my poor english, it is not my native language!

   Week 4 Mission 1:
   Though I feel already quite comfortable approaching women in public places (street, bars), i decided to work an another sticking point of mine: dancing :)) So I visited a salsa trial lesson!
   On my way to the spot in the subway, two girls were talking about how easy it is to dodge the fare. So I went over to them in order to check their tickets. It was a very funny conversation, but they utter one refused to give me her number. But who cares?

   When I arrived at the salsa spot, there were already a few young people around, so I started chatting with some male students, and after 5 minutes of small talk, we were about 10 people chatting and introducing each other.

   When the lesson started, I was really excited, because I am a rotten dancer! Well, I think I didn’t hurt anyone!
   After half an hour, the ladies were asked to pick a guy to dance with, but I directly told the cuttest girl that she is going to dance with me. We had quite fun, and after about 5 minutes, we had to change our dancing partner.
   So I managed to dance with 4 quite beautiful girls, within half an hour.

   After the lesson, I adressed the first girl and asked her: “Is there more about you than knowing how to dance salsa?” She came over, sat next to me, an I talked to her for 5 minutes. Then I told her, the she mad me curious about her and I’ll have a hot wine punch (traditional german drink in winter) next tuesday. She answered: “I’ve got a boyfriend… and I’m busy next tuesday” So it was on;-)
   However, I didn’t manage to set up a meeting with her, I stopped after asking for the third time - I didn’t want to sound to needy.

   I’m going to have another salsa trial lesson today.

   Mission 2:
   It is hard for me to find a guy who really wants to improve hisself… Right now, I am helping a buddy to overcome his shyness to approach…

   Mission 3:
   It is really hard to find always a dynamic and situational opener… but I managed doing the 5 + 10 on a shopping mile asking for shops/clothing advices/etc.

10. Edwin
    December 19th, 2008 at 12:09 am

    LbgWWUdASxMzOM1o

    Though game wasn’t easy,life was tougher.Deciding to change was a tough call,but a necessary one.First up was my massive AA which i had to conquer due to cooping myself up for a million years.The solution was to go to night clubs totally alone and open every single set with hot women i saw.It was scary,you start to question yourself if you should be doing this and what would happen.The fact is,others will be more than polite to return a few sentences.The worst off reply i got were ‘FUCK OFF’ screamed so loudly by a 2 set that the whole street could hear then.I swear that after that,I became a fucking machine that had no fear in opening.However,I never seemed to be able to take that further as to how to continue conversations.

11. Jay Valens
    December 19th, 2008 at 2:37 am

    Chris, fantastic effort. I expanded bootcamp with more to come and a little bit more manageable week-to-week, so hopefully that will help even more.

    Edwin, I’m glad you could see that it was no big deal and actually found encouragement to continue. As far as how to continue, try some of the video examples from the blog, be sure to be on our main mailing list, “Pickup Arts”, and for more interaction examples similar to the videos on the blog, our “Tactics & Techniques” DVDs have tons of them.

12. Dell
    February 18th, 2009 at 5:28 am

    Hai, hello, greetings, I’m Adam and I just started the bootcamp today.

    I decided to just utterly remove my most recent interest (let’s call her Aliesha) from my life. I don’t think I’d done much wrong with her, but I felt that she was a whole heap of baggage that I didn’t feel like carrying, and as long as I knew and had contact with her, she’d always be a “possibility.” I didn’t like that frame of thinking, so I just did a total symbolic slate-wiping. Now I can start afresh, so to speak.

    So, this girl, who we shall call Aliesha, borrowed something of mine (a jumper) from a while back. Today I organised to go and get it from her. We met up (I was with two other friends at the time), I pretty much said “Hi”, took the jacket, “bye” and then bailed. When I got home, I removed her number from my phone, her email from MSN, from facebook, etc. I chucked the jumper in the corner of my room, where it’s going to stay for a good long while. Maybe slightly melodramatic, but I still figure that it was for the best.

    ANYWAY. Tomorrow I go out to start the week two missions. The week after, I go back to uni - where I originally met Aliesha. First thing I’m planning to do is pick up a new girl in the precise same room that I first talked to her. :P

    Cheers, Dell.

13. Stance
    March 30th, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Hi!

    SO Mission 1:

    Sorry Jay, but I couldn’t think of anyone or any place that held any kind of “oneitis” significance to me so I went shopping instead.

    This will be my very first approach outside of a pub or club since I found out about PUA but I have followed a couple of resources:

    “The Game” Neil Strauss (complete)

    Fast Seduction website (New player’s guide down to lurking on mASF (bottled the newbie mission :P)

    “Without Embarrassment e-book” Mike Pilinski (Complete)

    Art of the pickup blog (Occasionally)

    “Natural Art of Seduction” Gambler (Complete (In one sitting!!))

    “Having kick-ass confidence” audio series by Mike Pilinski (First stage - visualisation)

    So I’m fairly clued up although didn’t have a cheat sheet at the time I did this last week (do now)

    I was also trying out David Shade’s eye contact experiments whilst walking but decided it would be difficult to stop and open a girl who was wlking on the street - so ducked into the girls section of H&M.

    I had a quick scout as if I was looking at clothes but at a loss and spied a redhead looking at one of the sections.

    I walked up beside her - felt the material of one of the tops on display - and then turned and tried to make it look spontaneous, saying “Hi!”

    She turned and looked a little shocked but replied immediately then looked at me as if I was going to say something else… so I did:

    “I’m looking for a present for a friend of mine, I was thinking something like this:” pointed at the shirt I’d just felt “but I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Can you give me some help?”

    So we chat about clothes for a little while whilst I gradually increase the speed and gesturing so the conversation feel exciting - and I try to find out something about her (hook) - in this case what she does for a living:

    Stance: “Wow! You’re really good at this! So you do it for a living?”

    HBRedhead: “No, I work with drug users”

    So I know she’s proabably a community concsious and caring person - So I ask her questions about what she does specifically and then tell her about some charity work I’ll be doing in Uganda - which leads us nicely onto finding out if she enjoys travelling.

    Redhead seems to be getting into the conversation - and I’ve been practicing some light kino (arms and shoulder) but now she’s doing it back and laughing loud and seeming really happy (I am too - buzzing in fact)

    Whilst talking about her university experience 2 years ago I take her hand and it seems perfectly natural - so I put my arm around her lower back.

    I decide to escalate at this point and start actually seducing so I slow the pace of the conversation right down and change the nature of my Eye-contact - she seems to pick up on the signals quite well and I actually lead back into the conversation about clothes - so we’re back where we were but now it’s as if we are a couple, and I’m hoping it makes her feel comfortable - as if we’ve known eachother longer than a few minutes.

    I suddenly say “Oh! My name’s Stance by the way” and she tells me hers is Cat.

    More fluff.

    Stance “Oh! I’ve really gotta go - I’m meeting some friends but I feel like we could talk for hours” Cat agrees - I get her number and leave.

    After this my plan was to do more approaches but I’m so excited and pumped up it actually has a negative affect on my confidence - so I walk around town for a bit but decide it’s best I come again another day.

14. Aussie Yank
    May 15th, 2009 at 5:54 am

    ok yea so bootcamp:
    i met this girl (courtney) at the pub with me mates. I pushed pulled her for awhile. She started insisting on buying me drinks ;). We went to the beach nearby and while we were making out she said her house was just a block and away and that it would be more comfortable. i said “sure” then we went back to her place. we got there and room mate was freaking out about her boyfriend and she was crying and everything so i got courtney’s number and left. it went pretty good.
    i tried working on this girl at the college and i made a move to kiss her and she backed away and said it was too soon so i left. I was soo chicken i didn’t even get her number. i think i just moved on her to fast but my problem to me
    is advoiding dancing because i suck and where i live thats pretty much it
    idk its pretty much either i full on get the girl or i strike out

15. lawrenceiswhoiam
    June 30th, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Weirdly enough a girl I know who works in the office across from me told me about a book called The Game.
    I started reading it at the local book store and found this site amongst many others. I’ve never had good luck with getting the women I want. I’ve had good looking ones(rich, models,and militairy), but they all turned into long relationships.
    So I met this girl at the book store not trying but I got her number. We talked a little and she says to me that she has a boyfriend and she wont cheat on him and she feels like I’m tryin to make a move on her. I told her that’s great she feels that way but she isn’t my type. She continues on to talk and then tells me “meet me at the mall close to my house”. I didn’t because I’m with my girl already on the other side of town. What would you guys do from this point on?

    Further more, the girl that told me about the book. I really want to get something started with her. What would you do in a case like that?

    There is a woman in the same building I work in that is a 10!! I want to talk to her but she doesn’t seem to friendly. I remember a few months back I said hello and she just looked at kept walking. How would I approach her again?

16. Jay Valens
    July 1st, 2009 at 3:42 am

    lawrenceiswhoiam, you have her number, follow up with her at your convenience. Don’t worry about what she said, she’s just letting you know indirectly that discretion is important to her. So this is the sort of thing you need to signal to her that you understand (don’t say it directly, only imply it through your understanding her situation).

    I have no idea what to tell you about the girl who referred the book to you. You might as well open up a phone book, pick a random female name, and ask for advice on how to meet that specific girl. She referred the book to you for a reason - get in contact with her, let her know you’ve been reading it and tell her that you’re curious why she recommended it to you. That will provide some insight for you. Understanding what kind of girl she is will also help you out.

    I notice something consistent with you from your single comment - you don’t appear to take time to observe anything about the girls themselves. Maybe I’m wrong, but you’re asking for advice on how to follow up with 3 girls, none of which you have described in any way, other than to refer to one of them as a 10, which I’ll take a wild stab in the dark and presume she’s not actually a 10 and you’re just inflating her in your mind.

    Do you know what this bootcamp section is for? It’s for guys on our mailing list to post their experiences following through with my email-based bootcamp, not to ask for random advice on vague situations. Join the mailing list and go through the bootcamp. The kind of questions you asked here will end up answering themselves and you will end up with much better questions to ask.

17. Lawrenceiswhoiam
    July 1st, 2009 at 6:02 am

    Sir yes Sir. Thanks for the response and I’ll be starting my mission today!

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