Jay Valens on February 28th, 2010

I’m cheating a slight bit and sharing something I’ve already shared to our main list. If you’ve missed newsletters like this one or not on our list yet, you can subscribe at:


You get in your way more than other men get in your way.

You might be thinking, “Jay, I love your newsletters but now I know you’re on crack!  Half the people in this world are men and I’m competing with them every day I leave my house and every time I try to meet and date a new woman.”

I’m going to keep things short & sweet today and leave you with something major to think about.

Other men are NOT competition and almost never get in your way with any woman you want.

You are far far more likely to get in your own way.



1. Not approaching when an opportunity to meet a new woman presents itself.  You might hesitate, doubt yourself, or simply chicken out.  Where is the alleged “other guy” to stop you or hold you back?  He’s not there.

2. By not being prepared.  How many times have you not bothered to observe the mechanics of the world around you?  You have the opportunity every day in life to observe, learn, and practice.  You are learning from this newsletter but are you practicing?  Where are the “other men” to blindfold you, lock you in your house, and glue your feet to the ground?  In your imagination, that’s where.

3. By not maximizing your opportunities.  Are you taking advantage of opportunities that appear, or making new opportunities regularly?  Are you out being social?  Taking interesting classes in your extra time?  Visiting interesting places?  Traveling?  Having parties?  Keeping up with your friends?  Keeping up with events near where you live?  Oh, I forgot, some imaginary “other men” are somehow causing you to not be able to do any of that.

4. By not learning from experience.  How many times will you repeat the same mistakes before learning from them?  Are you learning from the negative and unproductive behavior of other men or are you learning from YOUR experiences?

What about when you are in a room loaded with other ALLEGED competition?

Just be the first to approach.

Where will your competition be when you’re the first one out the gate?  Standing against a wall wishing they had your balls.

OK OK, I know you are still recollecting back to some times in the past where you were talking to a hot woman and some guy tried to get in your way, kept trying to get in your way, and maybe even succeeded in getting in your way.  That is what you’re still wondering about….

It’s really not a big deal and the solution to THAT, and pretty much wrapping up this whole topic of conversation is simple and I’ll call it the “troubleshooting section”.

Ready? …

Troubleshooting Section

1. You are talking to a woman for at least a short time and both engaged in some level of conversation and interaction & reasonably facing each other with close proximity.  A guy comes along and tries to get her attention or distract you generally trying to get attention.

What do you do?

Just ignore him completely and continue talking to the woman as if he was not there at all.  Pay about as much attention to him as you would the color of paint on the wall behind you.

You see, when you’re talking to a woman, she is engaged with YOU.  She has more social interaction with YOU than with him and in that case, since you are the MAN, she will look to you to lead the situation and if you don’t acknowledge the doofus then she will not either.

The only time this won’t apply is if she’s known him longer than you.  In that case, only acknowledge him IF she does first in a meaningful way

If it’s clear he’s her friend or related to her, then acknowledge him positively, that will only help you.  Otherwise, he’s NOBODY and you can effectively just pause long enough for her to acknowledge him and continue as if his interaction was meaningless.

2. Let’s say it’s not as simple as that and the doofus is too persistent at trying to block you, and it’s clear she doesn’t know him that well but has at least acknowledged him enough for him to try blasting through your interaction.

Now it’s fair game for you to “assert your turf” by nullifying his.  You don’t do this by “competing” because, as you should know by now, other men are not competition.  You do this by making it clear to the girl indirectly - by the other guy’s own actions, that he has no turf to begin with.

Here are some examples:

Make comments to him that are back-handed complements.
Ask the girl to ask him stupid questions about himself.
Tell him the girl really likes him and she’s just waiting to hear his best pickup line.

BE CAREFUL and use common sense.  If you are 5’6” and 140lbs and he’s 6’6” and built like a linebacker then don’t insult him outright.  Your goal is not to piss him off or to even make him think the reason he didn’t get the girl was because of you.  The goal is to have him end up walking away because he was made to feel like a doofus through his own actions.

I’ve known some guys who’ve mis-calibrated this and gotten themselves into physical jeopardy by being sloppy about how they acknowledge other men.  Remember, this is a last-ditch, only-when-necessary strategy and ALWAYSE USE COMMON SENSE.

It doesn’t even matter whether he walks away dejected or not, so long as it becomes clear to the girl that he’s got no value in comparison to you.

You can literally have a big obnoxious linebacker supermodel type guy trying to take over your interaction with a girl for hours and you still walk out with the girl.

He could literally stand there trying to block you all night and it won’t matter one lick so long as his presence is not acknowledged by you in any meaningful way and if at any time he downsizes himself with a stupid comment or showing any insecurity in himself.

If you are calm and cool throughout and he flinches even once, he’s out.  In fact once he’s out, the longer he hovers, the worse his position gets.

Once it becomes obvious to you this has happened, you can bet it’s become obvious to the woman, and you can start having “inside jokes” with her by talking about the guy indirectly while he’s still standing there.

By the way, in the realm of teaching you how to effectively start meeting and dating lost more women, our DVDs have no other competition.  Check them out:


Not just any other guy,

Jay Valens

P.S. Don’t forget that if you want this kind of advice to get sent to you by email, you can subscribe right away at:


Continue reading about Other Men Are NOT Competition

Jay Valens on February 12th, 2010

These strategies shouldn’t really be necessary to spell out, but perhaps it’s not common sense to a lot of guys.

Thinking about it more, these strategies weren’t common sense to me ages ago, but now I know better.  Rather than make you stumble in the dark any further, I present you with some high-quality strategies to keep women in your life, not just pick them up.  Not just any women, but the ones you want.

I’ve been in the midst of the pickup world for quite a long time now and I can tell you for sure I’ve seen so many guys do so many things wrong that ultimately avoiding those mistakes is more than half the battle, so I’ll split this into things to do and things to NOT do.


Expect to “be yourself” after the pickup.  Do not expect to be able to not change.  Changing on the surface is not change.  Throwing on a fuzzy hat or boa around your neck to get initial attention does not change who you are.  Whatever & whoever you are when you meet her and when you follow through with her is how you are stuck being FOREVER if you want to keep her.  Kinda sucks, huh?  So don’t throw on masks that you ultimately don’t want to merge into who you are.

To improve, you must change, but that change must be something that is something you want and not just a quick fix you can take out & put away as needed.


Be incongruent.  Just because a rock star and a cowboy are both archetypes that women have fantasies about, and just because you might be able to pull off either persona, does not mean going back-and-forth in persona will do anything but make every girl with at least 2 brain cells run away from you very fast.  You’re better off being a consistent geek who at least likes who he is than acting one way one minute and another way the second.

This does not mean being unpredictable is bad.  Actually, it’s one of the traits you should have.  It means don’t try to be more than one person to the girl.  Be the identity you want, become the identity you’d like to be, and stick with it.


Talk game to a girl.  Just because you’re learning how to improve your life with women doesn’t mean you have to explain it to them.  Do you know how much women read about how to figure out men on a daily basis?  Never mind that the advice they get is mostly rubbish, but how often do you hear a girl “talking game” to you about how much she’s figured out men.  Your first thought will be “psycho”.


Lose your manners or cool.  Just because you’re using a new understanding of social dynamics doesn’t mean that being rude or dissing basic social norms will lead to anything but a dry feeling in your pants.  Maybe on a rare occasion it helps but most of the time such a strategy will backfire.  Even when you’re being sexually adventurous with a girl, even if you’re emanating the “bad boy” vibe, there is still a baseline of social normalcy which you must have.


Constantly contact her.  Even when a girl is contacting you daily doesn’t mean you have to initiate as often, or even near as often.


Change to cater to her.  Change only when it suits you to better yourself.  Do not change for anyone except yourself.


Expect a one night stand to be anything more.  Holding back to wait, presuming the circumstance allows, keeps the right door open.  This one is tricky, because you have to be able to differentiate between an actual limited opportunity and one where there is little or no time constraint for you.  Until you reach the point of being able to differentiate, do always go for all opportunities but just keep in mind that you can’t expect one night stands to become something more.


Follow through.  If you leave a girl hanging without releasing the tension, her resentment will grow.  That doesn’t mean not to create tension in the first place, it means that you can’t dangle carrots without eventually offering a reward once she’s earned it.


Experiment.  If you do the same thing with her all the time, you will bore her.  Don’t get too comfortable in your routines.  Be willing to break out of them.


Set expectations early on.  The sooner after initially having sex, the better.  Establish understandings early on.  Frame the relationship in your terms.  Take the lead and make sure that, as the relationship progresses, you are always in a position of benefit but also regularly in position to GIVE to keep things well-balanced.


Give her freedom, as much as she needs.  You can still keep her reined by merely having a lifestyle and control over your own life that keeps her gravitating toward you, but you should be able to let go of ALL jealousy and only show it when it will escalate her attraction to you.


Be interested in her.  Not just her body.  Her.  If you’re only interested in her because of her body, and this is not something she’s aware of, eventually by your own actions you’ll lose her.


Be the one who takes charge.  Don’t wait for her to wait for you.  Make the decision on plans and follow through.


Enjoy your own life.  Don’t depend on her or her interests to be your life.  You had interests before her, you’ll have interests whether she’s around or not.  If she feels that you’re attaching yourself to her life and giving up aspects of your own life to do so then she’ll lose interest in you.


Go get AOTP:TT :)

Continue reading about Retention Rate Strategies

Jay Valens on May 29th, 2009

My friend and ladies man Cameron recently wrote a 2-part article on what he calls having “Edge”.  Essentially, it’s about understanding that there’s no such thing as “pure game”.  Meaning, it’s bullshit to believe that a guy employing “game” alone will have success based on that alone, no matter how good his game.  There are two other components required.  He must have at least 1 “edge” to him, at least 1 thing of superficial (yet real) value and, just as important (if not more important), be a “cool guy”.  You can read Part 1, “Everybody Has An Edge! Do You?” and Part 2, “Developing/Honing Your Edge“, on Cameron’s blog.

Simply put, all things being equal, if you have 2 guys with the same game skill, the guy with the edge, or the BETTER edge, will get the better results most of the time.  Even further, the guy who is also a “cool guy” will do even better.

I wrote about something very similar on mASF that I referred to as “currency”, “lures” and occasionally “hooks” or “bait” and how they play a role in pickup and how those things by themselves aren’t about attraction so much as they are about having things that trigger a context for you to apply game in the first place.  The element I didn’t cover is the most basic notion of “being a cool guy”, mainly because that’s the hardest thing to transform a guy into through “training”.

So, you can’t JUST have an edge.  You need good game and to be a “cool guy”.  Yes, guys all over the world every day get laid without any edge, without any game, and without being “cool guys”, but we’re not talking about simply eeking out an existence, we’re talking about having regular and predictable results with women that you’re satisfied with.  Chances are, if you’re not satisfied with your current results, then you’re missing at least 1 of these components:

  • You’re a cool guy
  • You have at least 1 edge
  • You have game

You may even be missing ALL of them!

I used to regularly wonder why so many guys getting into “the community” (the pickup community) would be in it for a long time and still not see results.  This very simple understanding that Cameron has written about and that I’d had a discussion about a while back on mASF essentially explains why.  Those guys essentially had (and still do) come into the community with either none of those 3 aspects to them or ONLY having the edge.

Some guys, for example, would be wealthy and still not get results because they didn’t have game and when they LEARNED game, they still didn’t see results because they were lacking that simple basic thing of “being a cool guy”.  Other guys did nothing except learn game, and didn’t hone any other aspect of their life, neither trying to be a cool guy, nor building or defining an edge for themselves.  That’s why guys who seemingly pull off “game” with great proficiency are still seen as “creepy” or “weird” - all they have is game, and it’s just plain socially retarded to treat life as if it was Dungeons & Dragons.

My feeling is that anyone either seeking to be taught how to get better results with women, and those who TEACH guys how to get getter results with women, need to observe themselves or their “student” and determine which of these 3 aspects need to be addressed.  For the guy himself, he has to be able to be BRUTALLY HONEST with himself and put the effort in to work on the aspects he is weak on.  He has to realize that it’s NOT just about having good game just as much as it’s not just about being wealthy, good-looking, famous, owning a house, having a great job, etc etc.  And even with those things, even with an abundance of resources and high level of skill in game, most people intuitively do not want to be around such guys by choice (beyond superficial reasons) unless that guy is also a “cool guy”.

I’ll cover how to be a “cool guy” in a follow-up article.

Hopefully this article has been insightful to you!  Also, we’ve recently been adding TONS of valuable offerings in our updated store, including Cameron’s 16-CD set, “Building Attraction Secrets“, multiple interviews with truly skillful guys, and even more training materials and resources from our friends in the industry.

Continue reading about The Edge Is Not A Guitarist For U2

Cameron Teone on February 13th, 2009

Part 2 of 2 [Read Part 1 Here]

Guest writer, and ladies’ man extraordinaire, Cameron Teone is here to get you thinking on a different track.

  • Problem 4: Frequency of Cocky/funny

At some point, there has to be a real person inside the cocky/funny shell.  Back when I was reading dating advice, I remember someone asking a question from the cocky/funny guru regarding its usage.  He asked, “I used some lines to tease her.  She was eating it up and having a good time.  At what point should I stop?”

The writer of cocky/funny manifesto replied back, “What is wrong with you?  What would you ever stop busting her balls?  That’s what has gotten you thus far.  Why would you ever stop now?”

That, right there, is perhaps one of the single worst pieces of advice ever written on dating.  After incessantly “Busting her balls” on a date, I once had a woman tell me that she wasn’t enjoying our interaction and that she wanted to go home. It was a bit disturbing to me, since I was following the cocky/funny motto and berating her nonstop.  Hey, by all accounts she should have been all over me.  With that much cocky/funny, she should have been proposing marriage to me. I guess she just didn’t like being picked  on by some guy who had asked her out on a date.

Teasing properly can be fun and it can enhance the interaction by making more interesting and flirtatious.  However, at some point, there has to be a real person there.  At some point, a man and a woman have to establish some rapport and have a real conversation, even if it’s something as simple as where they grew up or what they studied in college.  Making fun of a person’s reply every time gets to become very obnoxious very quickly.

This does not mean you stop teasing completely.  Rather, you sprinkle it in.  Imagine teasing as if it were table salt.  You want to sprinkle a bit of salt on your meal to give it a kick but you can easily overdo it and ruin the meal.

In fact, use the table-salt analogy to your advantage from now.  Here is the formula: More teasing in the beginning of the interaction, and less teasing as you build rapport.  At this point, use it as table salt.  Use accordingly but don’t over do it.


Men have been taught to be cocky/funny.  They are taught “To bust a woman’s balls” which, by the way, has to be one of the most moronic idiomatic expressions ever.  If a woman you’re talking to actually has balls, you probably should move on.  They never mention that part!  But let’s digress

How did this advice come to exist?

It’s not that the people promoting cocky/funny manifesto necessarily had bad intentions or meant to dupe or deceive you.  It’s just that they did not know any better themselves.

They were not touting advice because they had discovered something that worked for them.  Rather, they were making observations of other people that had a working model, but the observers never understood the nuts and bolts of it.  They didn’t understand the nuances of it.  On top of that, they weren’t really guys who understood dating and attraction.  They were marketers.

It’s disconcerting to receive emails from angry men who have fallen flat on their faces repeatedly through the use of cocky/funny.  Hopefully, after reading this article, you have an understanding of how to apply cocky/funny and understand its application in human social interactions.

What to take away from this article, especially if you’re one of the guys who has experienced severely poor results from using cocky/funny:

  1. Don’t use insulting lines.  Learn to be playful and confident, childlike. The source of your confidence comes from your aura and demeanor, not from insults.
  2. Understand the type of women you’re interacting with.  (Are you talking to a girl who looks she just walked off a porn set or are you talking to a woman who is an artist or someone who is very spiritual and reads Deepak Chopra for breakfast?)
  3. Make sure your personality is congruent with your approach.  Again, take a look at Vince Vaughn in Swingers and Robert Downey jr. in Iron man.  Understand that cocky-funny is part of an attitude and  personality, not just lines.
  4. Learn to cut back on teasing, establishing rapport, and using the salt shaker analogy.  More teasing early on, but as the interaction progresses, use it sporadically.

If you make these corrections, your success will rise.  At the very least, you’re going to continue a normal interaction without getting “Blown out” because of some insulting line you learned from some guy who didn’t have grasp of the concept himself.  On top of that, you now have a sense of timing, as to WHEN to tease, and when to pull back on it.

Cameron has his own blog and offers an excellent Audio Course, a 16-CD program which is pure pickup dynamite for most any guy.  Cameron will also be presenting at our upcoming seminar in March, “The Complete Toolbox Seminar“.

Continue reading about Why Cocky/Funny Is Destroying Your Chances With Women, Part 2

Cameron Teone on February 12th, 2009

Part 1 of 2 [Read Part 2 Here]

Guest writer, and ladies’ man extraordinaire, Cameron Teone is here to get you thinking on a different track.

If you are on the Internet seeking dating advice, chances are good that you have come across a concept called cocky/funny.  About 6 years ago, a gentleman started writing countless articles and newsletters promoting the concept of cocky/funny.

Like you, I was excited about it.  It was a novel concept that seemed interesting and seemed to get a reaction out of people.  It also seemed to piss off quite a few women at the same time.  Over the years, I ran into a lot of guys whose chances with women were being destroyed by cocky/funny as it was being taught.

If you’re reading this right now, you may be one of those guys who is struggling to make cocky/funny work for you.  If you have been at it for a while, chances are good, you’ve upset and insulted your fair share of women in the past year.

Thus, once and for all, I am going to break down HOW cocky/funny is ruining your chances with women and how you can go about fixing it, and how you can APPLY it in a way that is effective and practical. This article is a bit long so set aside 10 minutes, kick back somewhere comfortable and take in what you’re about to read.

First, we ought to understand the social-psychology of cocky/funny.  The cocky part is designed to give the man some artificial value of being cool.  The funny part is to make people laugh and take the edge of by injecting humor into the social interaction.

It’s taking a line that a proverbial “Cool guy” would utter and giving it to someone who may not be as cool.  The problem is that the line is lost in translation.  It’s common knowledge that most communication is non-verbal, and teaching the verbal part of a concept to someone while leaving out the non-verbal is a recipe for disaster.

In the long run, a cocky line cannot provide the illusion of confidence for someone who comes across otherwise.  It may even buy him a few minutes sometimes, but the illusion will be shattered. Therefore, it’s more effective to polish one’s overall approach.

So let’s dissect the problems and look to replace them with solutions:

  • Problem 1: Usage of Cocky Funny

The way cocky/funny is taught is to borderline insult a woman with a humorous touch to take the edge off of the insult.  These are lines that can easily be misconstrued as an insult, and often, they are perceived as insults.  When that happens, the cocky/funny advocates reply with, “Well, she just doesn’t have a sense of humor.”

Then again, maybe she just does not like being insulted.  Below are some examples of the cocky funny lines taught:

“Nice shoes, did you buy them new?”

“Nice Outfit.  Where is the rest of it?”

“You just want me, like all the other women.”

“Nice portrait.  Have you considered wearing more makeup?”

(Ok, I made that last one up.)

Granted, you could approach 10 women, and 2 of them may respond favorably to such an advance.  However, why would you handicap yourself like that?  Why not use something that could effectively elicit a favorable reply from 8 out of 10?

So should you throw away cock/funny?  No.  Learn to tease and have fun.  Some of the guys started calling it “Playful & Confident” a few years back and that’s a good motto.  Being playful and confident is neither insulting and nor is it obnoxious.

I have articles on how to tease and flirt and you may want to look at those at some point.  Explaining how to use humor in the interaction requires an entire article on its own. For the time being, remember to be playful and confident.  Playful, in essence, is being childlike.  It’s learning to have fun and play.

Hence, instead of trying to show you’re cool by the throwing out lines, you’re best served by displaying charm and confidence.  You can TEASE and be fun, but the cocky-insult lines will have you shooting yourself more often than not.

  • Problem 2: Timing of Cocky funny

When and where do you use cocky/funny as it’s taught?  What demographic of women do you think it’s best suitable for?  Have you ever asked yourself this question?

Well, the kind of cocky/funny that has traditionally been taught is effective on club skanks and strippers.  You should also note that sometimes these observations of these concepts were made in strip bars and night clubs.

Cocky insult lines can work in those specific environments for two reasons:

A. The social matrix of the environment.

In a strip bar, for example, most men have zero value.  Normally, the average guy in a strip bar is deemed by the stripper as a pathetic f*cking loser paying cash to see naked women flaunt their tits and ass.  The borderline insulting comments are designed to somewhat reverse that dynamic or at least, to level the playing field.  Telling a stripper, “You just want to use me for my body” can be funny given the circumstances, because it’s drawing on the reverse premise of what is going on.

Making the same remark to a girl in a library or a bookstore has no context and can backfire very easily.

B. Insecure women

Despite how they come across, these types of women are extremely insecure on many levels.  Hence, a borderline insulting cocky/funny comment exposes their insecurity while reinforcing what they already subconsciously believe about themselves to begin with.

Lesson for you to take away:  Look at the environment you’re in and the type of women you are interacting with.  If you find yourself in a strip bar, or talking to some platinum haired blonde with 55 pounds of makeup and collagen enhanced lips at a nightclub, then the cocky Insult lines actually do seem to get a reaction.  Any reaction is better than having someone ignore you.

On the other hand, if you’re approaching a different archetype, then cut down the insult lines, use more normal humor and joke with her as though you’ve known her for years.

  • Problem 3: Persona/delivery of cocky/funny

Another common issues arises from the personality of men who are attempting to be cocky/funny.  Men are taught to be serious.  They are explicitly told that, “The woman shouldn’t be able to tell whether you’re joking or being serious.”  They are also taught to use a very serious monotone delivery rivaling Frankenstein with the charisma of a doorknob.

Once again, bullshit advice.  Guys who use cocky/funny effectively & consistently have a persona that is CONGRUENT with that type of humor.  A character you can reference for this would be Vince Vaughn’s character, Trent, in the movie “Swingers.”  (Actually, you can watch any number of Vince Vaughn movies (Wedding Crashers, The Breakup,) and you’d see the same effect, but let’s stick with Trent from Swingers.)

Trent’s persona could be conceived as a cocky/funny type.  He gets away with saying a lot of things that other men would not. WHY?  Because people see him and think, “Awww, that’s just Trent.  He is just goofing around as usual, having a good time.”  No one is insulted by Trent because people take him as someone having fun even if he is coming across as cocky.  “Hey man, that’s just big T, Trent!  He is having fun!  You can’t get upset at Big T.”

Most guys seeking dating advice don’t have a persona/attitude like Trent, or they wouldn’t be seeking dating advice to begin with.  Hence, just because Trent’s lines work for him does not translate into those lines working for another man who doesn’t have the same attitude.

A guy could be a studious, intellectual type who is not very gregarious.  It doesn’t mean he cannot be successful in attracting women.  However, for that guy to use the same approach as someone like “Trent” is a recipe for disaster as mentioned before.  Is this starting to make sense?

If you enjoy teasing, and like doing so often, then build (or Develop) a persona that is consistent and congruent with that delivery.  You must develop the PERSONA first and then the lines can be used in accordance.  Cocky lines with the wrong persona amount to poor interactions.

If you still seek other visual examples, then there is one blockbuster film you’ll have to watch a 2nd time.  Perhaps the greatest personification of a “Cocky Funny” personality is portrayed by Robert Downey Jr. in the movie, “Iron man”. His attitude through out the film depicts his extremely cocky demeanor, and yet he manages to come across as likable.  This is key.  People are not insulted by him because at the end of the day, it’s all a joke and he is HAVING FUN!  The people interacting with him can clearly distinguish that he is just a big kid having fun.  Is he being a cocky smart ass?  Yeah, but it’s all in good spirit.

End of Part 1.  Part 2 will come tomorrow. (Read Part 2 Here)

Cameron has his own blog and offers an excellent Audio Course, a 16-CD program which is pure pickup dynamite for most any guy.  Cameron will also be presenting at our upcoming seminar in March, “The Complete Toolbox Seminar“.

Continue reading about Why Cocky/Funny Is Destroying Your Chances With Women

Jay Valens on December 12th, 2008

Have you ever gotten stuck not knowing how to transition from a possibly staled interation or a moment of stalling? Or maybe you want a way to quickly introduce touch and escalate the interaction to be more fun? This tactic is a great maneuver and… it’s fun!

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Jay Valens on November 4th, 2008

Commentary on “The Spin Move”

Yesterday we had to take one of the bonuses out of the bundle and tonight another bonus will be taken out of the Tactics & Techniques bundle. I don’t want you to miss any of the bonuses but we have to keep from going broke giving so many things away, so before midnight tonight (EST) is your last chance before another bonus is removed. Go the info page now to find out how to get “Tactics & Techniques”:


OK, I know you’re going to get yourself a copy of the bundle and check that page after enjoying this post, so without further adieu here’s my and Ray’s commentary “The Spin Move”.

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Now… go get T&T which still includes 8 out of the 9 original bonuses. But, hurry up, because at the stroke of midnight that will become 7 out of 9.


Continue reading about Commentary on “The Spin Move”

Jay Valens on November 1st, 2008

Before watching this next clip, don’t forget that the bonuses for Tactics & Techniques are only available for a short time and if you want to get your hands on the whole kit-n-kaboodle before we take them away, get yourself over the T&T info page:


Alright, so this video shows off a really good maneuver, which also helps initiate touch and create a fun but challenging vibe. It’s called “The Spin Move”.

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

“Tactics & Techniques” is not only packed to the brim with these kind of videos, but just about all of them have a review menu with commentary from Ray and me, and it is fully navigational so you can go to the stages of pickup you’re most interested, the various permutations of those stages, and make full use of everything you would want an interactive teaching system to be. And did I mention all the bonuses? :)


Continue reading about The Spin Move

Jay Valens on October 30th, 2008

Here’s our commentary on the “Short Circuiting LMR” clip!

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Continue reading about Commentary on Short Circuiting LMR

Jay Valens on October 29th, 2008

When I was still in college, I used to work at a print shop.  We did all kinds of printing copying and finishing.  My friend who worked there (the first guy I ever knew who had actual, real, game with women) always gave me gold nuggets of advice that I never realized were gold until years later.

Anyway, at this place just about everything we did involved repetition.  Printing, collating, cutting, folding, binding, packing.  Even the things that didn’t seem to have a repetition were repetitive in the sense that we did them many times for different jobs and customers.  Layout, plate-making, repairing and cleaning machines, shipping.

My friend would always have a competition, against himself, to find any angle possible to do any given task faster, more efficient, and better.  There were even times I would find a way to beat his performance, only to find he found yet another way to do something faster and more efficient.

I didn’t find this discouraging at all, it was inspiring, and I found such challenges made the job more enjoyable than it already was (call me crazy, I liked running a printing press).  What I learned from that was a certain life-improving discipline which I’ll share with you now.

This performance-chasing friend would tell me “repetition builds speed and accuracy”.

He was right.  I don’t think he looked any deeper than the cause and effect, but the curious person I am I tend to want to know why such a simple pragmatism never fails.  To understand it is to own it.

It’s not that repetition builds some kind of physical change, unless you’re talking about working out or nutrition or the landscape being carved by water over millions of years.  What repetition does, when it comes to actions and behavior, is build a “memory”, but not a memory of an event, rather a memory of a path.  Like walking a trail so often that you eventually create a visible path to follow where you can let go of the memory altogether and what remains is the equivalent of instinct.

Ants do this.

Have you ever watched how ants forage?  They have a colony and it seems when the ants begin to investigate the terrain, they crawl around almost randomly but then eventually they make a trail that all of them follow to and from a source of food.

How do they know which way to go?

What they do is, when they are initially foraging for food, they crawl around randomly until they find something.  Then, on their way back to the colony, the leave a scent trail using pheromones.  After time, when multiple ants do this, the pheromone trail back to the colony becomes stronger and stronger, to the point where ants leaving the colony and going to the food can easily follow the most direct trail available to the food, even without any other ants to follow.

How does this help you?

It helps you to understand and appreciate the value of repetition.  Repetition garners familiarity and with familiarity comes inherent confidence.  When you are familiar with something, you are more confident in it.  When you are familiar with something, you are more skillful. You are quicker on your feet.  You have more predictable results.

Once you build enough repetition and familiarity in something, the path has been paved so solidly that you become inherently competent, your instincts are finely tuned, and you can easily trust yourself to get the outcome you want without it feeling hard to do.

But to get there, you need to pound down the path.  You need to utilize the tool of experience to get to the point of what can be called a natural instinct.  If you didn’t understand this before, you understand it now and the next gold nugget I will give you is to realize that you are like an ant in a colony and the experiences of others are like the pheremone trails building up.

For example, when we give you a tactic, technique, or routine, on this blog or in the almost-released “Tactics & Techniques”, we are giving you tried-and-tested piece of game that you can use and repeat enough times that eventually, put altogether, allows you to build an instinct for pickup.  Each individual piece of material, no matter how much we break it down, won’t be a magic bullet by itself to get you there, but the combination of it all, and put into practice with repetition WILL get you there.

So, let go of the conflict between “direct game” or “indirect” game, “inner game” versus “outer game”, natural versus dynamic, eventually it will all be natural and dynamic for you.  But you can’t get there without the ant trails.  You can’t forage for success by blindly going in all directions without building those trails.

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