Here’s Part 8 of the Foundations for Tactics & Techniques. Getting comfort right will help lead to the bedroom. We’ll have a great deal to cover in the “Tactics & techniques” program, so this is an intro as to what the comfort stage is all about.
Sometimes the comfort stage is not needed and a guy can go from attraction rght into seduction, but the times that it is needed you can’t skip it.
By the way, don’t forget that we have a variety of free “Tactics & techniques” bonuses for you. Just go to:
http://www.artofthepickup.com/aotptt/
Very soon, we’ll also be releasing actual routine videos. Keep a lookout on the blog and our YouTube and Myspace pages.
~Jay
Here’s Part 7 of the Foundations for Tactics & Techniques. Figuring out how to transition from attraction into a zone of comfort is pretty important. You need strategies for building trust, getting follow-ups, and achieving isolation. Here’s a broad intro to that topic which will be covered in-depth in our “Tactics & techniques” program.
Continue reading about Foundations, Part 7: Attraction to Comfort
Quick blurb to let you know that we’ve got a MySpace profile up for AOTP as yet another way for people to keep up with us. :)
Here’s Part 6 of the Foundations for Tactics & Techniques. Attraction is a big part of the equation, and this is the third foundation of understanding for it.
Continue reading about Foundations, Part 6: Even More Attraction
Quick note to let all you guys out there know we’ll be keeping a collection of the videos posted here on a new YouTube channel we created for you:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheArtOfThePickup
So that’s yet another way for you to keep up with us. There’s also a nice motivating video there that we didn’t put here :)
OK, so I have more tactics and techniques than a dog has fleas. Wait, that isn’t a good analogy. I have more tactics and techniques than Warren Buffet has millions. But its always cool to me when I discover a new one just out of the blue by accident.
So this new tactic is something I discovered while meeting up with a girl for a study date. In this case we were studying language, I was teaching her English and she was teaching me her language. This “language exchange” is probably the most obvious tactic ever invented by men in order to seduce foreign exchange students, so keep that in mind as an aside for all those hot Asian and Swedish blonde girls you lust after.
But, the new tactic came about by accident as we had our second meeting at a local frozen yogurt shop so we could study. We got our yogurt, sat down, and proceeded to TRY to study. I say try, because there was really loud music playing. We tried to study, but it was pretty much impossible because of the music. I realized this was going to be a good excuse to get out of there and possibly back to my place or hers, so I spoke softer than I would have normally to make it seem even worse.
After we were both thoroughly frustrated, I said simply “OK, let’s go study somewhere else.”
We got up and took our frozen yogurt with us. I said “I’m not sure if your place would work since you live with other people, but if not my place is close by.”
I said this very matter-of-factly as if it was totally normal. This is what is called a “double bind”, basically it’s just giving her only one of two choices, that are both more intimate than being in a yogurt store together.
She thought for a second and agreed to go back to my place, which was actually a pretty big deal for her Asian culture, but in this context it seemed to make sense to her.
So basically this is a repeatable formula. Probably best used with some type of study, like someone in a college course you are in or for language exchange, but it could be for any first get together really. You choose a place near your house that you know has such loud music that you can’t talk, then just get up and say you two are going somewhere you can relax and hear her better. Getting up and taking the lead this way is also attractive. Worst case if she wants to go to another bar, you have created “history” with her, by doing what we call a venue change. That creates the feeling she has known you for longer, and helps get you more intimate.
Some guys might throw in a little variation to this routine by just saying you are going to club X, where X is your name! So for me it would be like “Common, we are going to club Ray.” Which of course is your place, and if she is surprised when she gets to your place it’s a bit too late since you are already there, and you can tell her “I told you we were going to CLUB RAY haha, you mean you didn’t get that?” Not my personal favorite, but this is a tactic some guys use.
Anyway, back to my story, once she was back at my place, all the bachelor pad goodies helped me as always get around studying and naturally into a hot and heavy make out session. My mini bar for showing her how to make her favorite drink, my punching dummy for teaching her the four main punches of boxing, my little massage tools, sitting on the bed cause there is no couch (I am perpetually not finished moving into my place), my lava lamp as an excuse for turning off the lights, etc. The next date was also ostensibly for studying back at my place, but instead went to sex.
So in some ways not the most earth shattering of techniques (like the Four Secret Questions routine for example), but I thought I would share it because logistics is half the battle. Any questions about this, let us know!
Here’s Part 5 of the Foundations for Tactics & Techniques. Additional coverage on the broad strokes of attraction!
No matter what your strategy for improving your game, the fact remains that you need a plan.
By having a plan, I don’t mean “I plan to succeed” or “I will learn X, Y or Z method”, I mean, literally, you need a specific plan when you go out in the field to meet new women, follow up with women you’ve met, and prepare to handle escalation to more: sex and establishing a relationship. Before you try to go from point A to Z, you first need to go from A to B, then B to C, and so on.
First, Pinpoint Where You Get Stuck
Since I’ve been around this stuff so long, I’ve become pretty aware to pinpoint where a guy might be having problems, and usually it’s due to being stuck at a certain stage and not being able to get past that stage. First comes the awareness of where the hangup is, then the honesty to accept that is where progression is needed, and finally there needs to be a plan to get through that sticking point.
So, for example, if you’re out and able to approach, you may have an issue getting past the initial approach. It took so much guts to get you to walk up and open your mouth and to do that often, but maybe you don’t know what to do after that. Or maybe you’re OK to get past that and now you need to know how to transition into a meaty interaction. An then, from there, attraction. And so on.
Next, Find The Puzzle Piece That Fits
For all of that, for every step, you need a plan. After a while, when you’re familiar with any smaller element of the overall picture, your plan becomes automatic and you are more fluid without much effort. That’s definitely where you want to be. But BEFORE you can get to that point, which is the ultimate goal, you need to have a plan for each and every place you may run into sticking points.
One of the greatest tools available to you is the knowledge from other guys who have successfully broken down each and every one of those stages and elements. That knowledge is your short-cut to having a plan. Some will claim that such things are crutches but, really, they only become that way if you end up having a huge dependence on them. The truth is they are like training wheels.
Lastly, Put The Plan To Work
I wish I could think of a better example than this, but, have you seen the movie “The Karate Kid”? In it, in order for his master to teach him to get good, he forced him to repetitively “wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off”. It was training to become familiar with the motions until eventually the motions became natural, almost instinctual.
This is really a very important point because having been at this so long it seems people gravitate towards 2 distinct beliefs. One is that game should be “natural” (free-flowing, vibe, inner game) and the other is that the game is completely “mechanical” (indirect, structured, controlled).
Don’t Fall Into The “One Size Fits All” Camp
The reality is, having good game, at least for guys who don’t start off being natural at it, requires BOTH. There could be a time in the future where a guy who was focused on a structured method becomes familiar enough with the process that he becomes far less dependent on such things and is able to be more naturalistic, and then start espousing that natural game is the key, but he would not have gotten there had he not initally had a plan in the form of tried & tested routines, tactics, techniques, especially garnered from guys who are good who’ve been in the field far more than he’d been.
But, hey, if you are NOW a natural at pickup, dating, sex, relationships, etc, then so be it, you will perceive that is “the way” and all else is a distraction. And, from your point of view, you would be right. But nobody, unless they are BORN or BRED that way, are a natural out of the gate. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE needs a plan to go from A to B, then B to C, then C to D, and so on. EVERYONE.
So, I ask, where are YOUR sticking points and do you have a plan to get you through them?
Hey as some of you know, we have a newsletter for The Art of the Pickup which we send out called “Pickup Arts”. I’ve just put up a sampler PDF of some really helpful newsletters I’ve written at our Tactics & Techniques bonuses page.
It’s available as an immediate download, and I probably won’t keep it up there forever, so go grab it now!
~Jay
Here’s Part 4 of the Foundations for Tactics & Techniques. Some broad strokes on attraction for you! This is stuff we’ll be covering in detail for you soon, with specific routines.
