Jay Valens on February 28th, 2010

Jay Valens on February 21st, 2010
  • Apologies for the links not working, I fixed them with redirects. Just a stupid blog issue plugin issue. 3 new 3some posts coming up… #
  • Threesome Report: Amazing…: A2daMIR http://bit.ly/bMoefS #
  • Threesome Report: Manage-a-trois, BIG TIME AMOG, funny stuff: rickyricon http://bit.ly/bw2gfV #
  • Threesome Report: First threesome of 2008: A2daMIR http://bit.ly/dDkOvy #
  • @Jaysin586 Thanks for letting me know, fixed all the links. Blog plugin wasn’t working right when I fixed the dates but it’s all set now. in reply to Jaysin586 #
  • Geek alert: I’m designing my own sitemap tool (kind of necessary given the size & complexity of FS) but the effort should be worth it. #

Jay Valens on February 17th, 2010

As a follow-up to the blog post on retention, earlier tonight I sent out an email to our subscribers about the true key aspect of how to keep a girl once you’ve got her.

I mean, what’s the point of meeting & pickup up a girl you’re really into if you can’t manage to KEEP her?

I outlined a whole bunch of things in the retention post but there really is an incredible key element that, if you do well, will ensure she’ll be sticking around for a long, long time.

If you’re not subscribed to our newsletters, then you missed my talk about it, you can subscribe at:


But, to recap, I essentially covered how important SEX is and more than just in a “do it right” sort of way, but why it matters and what aspects of how well you do it will make the difference.

Friend Shawna - Teaches Sex

Friend Shawna - Teaches Sex

Lucky for you, my friend Shawna (a porn actress) did really nice write-up on the topic and you can download it from here:


I mean, who else do I trust to give you the best advice on how to best please a woman than a woman herself?  And not just any woman, but one that makes a living out of having sex and a woman who loves (REALLY loves) pleasing women as much as men.

Go grab her write-up, it’s an eye-opener.

Jay Valens on February 14th, 2010

Jay Valens on February 12th, 2010

These strategies shouldn’t really be necessary to spell out, but perhaps it’s not common sense to a lot of guys.

Thinking about it more, these strategies weren’t common sense to me ages ago, but now I know better.  Rather than make you stumble in the dark any further, I present you with some high-quality strategies to keep women in your life, not just pick them up.  Not just any women, but the ones you want.

I’ve been in the midst of the pickup world for quite a long time now and I can tell you for sure I’ve seen so many guys do so many things wrong that ultimately avoiding those mistakes is more than half the battle, so I’ll split this into things to do and things to NOT do.


Expect to “be yourself” after the pickup.  Do not expect to be able to not change.  Changing on the surface is not change.  Throwing on a fuzzy hat or boa around your neck to get initial attention does not change who you are.  Whatever & whoever you are when you meet her and when you follow through with her is how you are stuck being FOREVER if you want to keep her.  Kinda sucks, huh?  So don’t throw on masks that you ultimately don’t want to merge into who you are.

To improve, you must change, but that change must be something that is something you want and not just a quick fix you can take out & put away as needed.


Be incongruent.  Just because a rock star and a cowboy are both archetypes that women have fantasies about, and just because you might be able to pull off either persona, does not mean going back-and-forth in persona will do anything but make every girl with at least 2 brain cells run away from you very fast.  You’re better off being a consistent geek who at least likes who he is than acting one way one minute and another way the second.

This does not mean being unpredictable is bad.  Actually, it’s one of the traits you should have.  It means don’t try to be more than one person to the girl.  Be the identity you want, become the identity you’d like to be, and stick with it.


Talk game to a girl.  Just because you’re learning how to improve your life with women doesn’t mean you have to explain it to them.  Do you know how much women read about how to figure out men on a daily basis?  Never mind that the advice they get is mostly rubbish, but how often do you hear a girl “talking game” to you about how much she’s figured out men.  Your first thought will be “psycho”.


Lose your manners or cool.  Just because you’re using a new understanding of social dynamics doesn’t mean that being rude or dissing basic social norms will lead to anything but a dry feeling in your pants.  Maybe on a rare occasion it helps but most of the time such a strategy will backfire.  Even when you’re being sexually adventurous with a girl, even if you’re emanating the “bad boy” vibe, there is still a baseline of social normalcy which you must have.


Constantly contact her.  Even when a girl is contacting you daily doesn’t mean you have to initiate as often, or even near as often.


Change to cater to her.  Change only when it suits you to better yourself.  Do not change for anyone except yourself.


Expect a one night stand to be anything more.  Holding back to wait, presuming the circumstance allows, keeps the right door open.  This one is tricky, because you have to be able to differentiate between an actual limited opportunity and one where there is little or no time constraint for you.  Until you reach the point of being able to differentiate, do always go for all opportunities but just keep in mind that you can’t expect one night stands to become something more.


Follow through.  If you leave a girl hanging without releasing the tension, her resentment will grow.  That doesn’t mean not to create tension in the first place, it means that you can’t dangle carrots without eventually offering a reward once she’s earned it.


Experiment.  If you do the same thing with her all the time, you will bore her.  Don’t get too comfortable in your routines.  Be willing to break out of them.


Set expectations early on.  The sooner after initially having sex, the better.  Establish understandings early on.  Frame the relationship in your terms.  Take the lead and make sure that, as the relationship progresses, you are always in a position of benefit but also regularly in position to GIVE to keep things well-balanced.


Give her freedom, as much as she needs.  You can still keep her reined by merely having a lifestyle and control over your own life that keeps her gravitating toward you, but you should be able to let go of ALL jealousy and only show it when it will escalate her attraction to you.


Be interested in her.  Not just her body.  Her.  If you’re only interested in her because of her body, and this is not something she’s aware of, eventually by your own actions you’ll lose her.


Be the one who takes charge.  Don’t wait for her to wait for you.  Make the decision on plans and follow through.


Enjoy your own life.  Don’t depend on her or her interests to be your life.  You had interests before her, you’ll have interests whether she’s around or not.  If she feels that you’re attaching yourself to her life and giving up aspects of your own life to do so then she’ll lose interest in you.


Go get AOTP:TT :)

Jay Valens on February 7th, 2010

Jay Valens on January 31st, 2010
  • PAIR system upgrade nearing completion. Migration script prepped, Community Connector coded, not much left but to wrap & test. #
  • Set up a profiling debugger on the live site, working to optimize the sections with the slowest load. #
  • There’s always hiccups when planning out data migration… I’d rather change code than confuse people, rolling up sleeves again… #

Jay Valens on January 24th, 2010
  • Translation improvements, updated SiteMap http://tr.im/fsmap, & consolidated news into separate blog & it gets my Tweets http://tr.im/fsnews #
  • Threesome blog launched. Old posts on it now, will populate it with more in coming days & weeks - http://threesomearchive.com/ #
  • PAIR & Albums forms needs fixing due to site revamp. Just part of the pain of transitioning from sloppy HTML to strict XHTML. #

Jay Valens on January 10th, 2010
  • Been meaning to update. I have a pre-ulcer but working thru it to finish a full site re-design. Be on the lookout for an announcement soon. #
  • New site design went live 20 minutes ago - http://www.fastseduction.com/ #
  • @timeclockman Doc didn’t tell me anything specific yet, I just stopped the iffy foods for now, including coffee, until I get the full info. in reply to timeclockman #

Jay Valens on December 13th, 2009
  • mASF Search being worked on. Will be new & improved, no more errors. Give me 2-3 days to wrap. #
  • “Web 2.0″ gushers get under my skin. Can they do more than snip from others’ widgets/code? Build a functional/large-scale site, then talk… #
  • Oops, crashed the server just now pre-populating the new search database. Forgot that sometimes even 4GB of RAM isn’t enough. Re-coding… #
  • Design-by-committee (open source): not all it’s cracked up to be. The future is data warehousing & exposed interfaces, not exposed code. #
  • @timeclockman Keep me abreast of times you’d plan to go, my free time’s limited for a but + I have to avoid alcohol & red meat for a while. in reply to timeclockman #
  • Forum search fix & upgrades live. If you want to out-do me, I have an API for you. http://www.fastseduction.com/d…..ction=5006 #