Bootcamp Comments 001

37 Responses to “Bootcamp Comments 001”

1. Lawrence
   November 6th, 2008 at 4:33 pm

   The first assignment: complement.

   At the parts department of Beaver Toyota (true), a really cute latina was working behind the counter. She asked the, “May I help you” question. She had a really nice voice and way of speaking. After “business,” I told her, “You have such a beautiful voice.” She smiled sweetly and said, “Thank you.” I introduced myself and she introduced herself, “Maria.” I said, “Mucho gusto.” She asked, in Spanish, if I spoke Spanish. I said, “Un poquito.” She said that I spoke very well. I thanked her and made my good-bye.

   The second assignment: If someone were to compliment you …

   I asked this of a cute girl working at the mall. She paused, then said, “I don’t know.” After a moment, she said, “that I was a really good person.” I took that in for a moment, but had a bit of brain lock and couldn’t do anything with it — anyhow, that wasn’t the drill. I said, instead, “OK, and if you were to give me a compliment, what would it be.” She said, “That’s a nice shirt.” I said, “I’ve been told that, before. Thank you.” Then, I introduced myself and she introduced herself. I said, “Nice to meet you” and then made my exit.

2. Jay Valens
   November 6th, 2008 at 10:00 pm

   That’s great. I know the interactions were “cut off” in the sense of not being taken further, but you can see how once you’re “in the swing of it”, that will become easier and easier and… it’s actually not so hard. :)

3. hui
   November 17th, 2008 at 4:28 pm

   code - yvrgk4dDpV6zfUOe

   I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me!
   I’m not afraid of approaching/talking to women when 1 on 1. And can sometimes be really good but only if I’m in mood.
   But I start feeling uneasy when there are people around!Especially when I’m getting bad reaction from the girl. Have no idea how I’m suppose to re-frame! ‘n if I continue talking I look like a try hard with way less value therefore I kinda say some C&F and walk away with of course a nice BL, smile ‘n attitude!=(

4. Lawrence
   November 18th, 2008 at 10:20 pm

   The Hardest Thing: Approaching Women in a Bar Setting, whether alone or in sets

   So, I did four:

   One woman, solo:
   I had a copy of the local “What’s Happening in Town” publication. I went up to her and asked if it was any good, as a reference. She said, Yes. I introduced my self; she introduced herself. I asked her if she was local; she said, “Yes.” and asked where I was from. We did the “Where are you from” conversation, then I thanked her and closed the conversation.

   Three women sitting together:
   I walked up slowly to where they were sitting and somewhat of an angle, stopped. A performer was playing in the bar, the usual “too loud for conversation” volume level. The girls were talking. I opened, speaking loudly, “How can you have a conversation in a place like this?” One of them responded, “We come here all the time.” I said, “How can you hear?” She couldn’t hear me. One of the other girls said something that I couldn’t hear. I smiled, waved goodbye, left.

   Five women at a table:
   I had heard them laughing, earlier. I walked up casually, stopped and looked into the set, caught the attention of three of them. I said, “It’s nice hearing you all having a good time.” One of them said, “We’re having a meeting.” The others paused talking. I said, “This is a meeting? Sounds like you’re having fun.” They paused politely. I said something like, “Have a good night,” and moved on.

   Two girls walked up to the entrance:
   I saw them, walked up. “Come on in. The music’s fine.” I introduced myself. They introduced themselves; both their names were Karen. One of them said something about having a third friend named Karen, also. I said, “That must be fun, knowing which Karen you’re talking to. I’m sitting over there; if you’d like to join me, you’re welcome.” I went back to my table. Some time later, they drifted by and looked my way. I pointed to a chair in front of one of them and said, “Sit!” She sat, and so did the other Karen. During conversation, I said that I can often tell a lot about a person by feeling her hands. That got us into my reading the quality of their lives by feeling how their hands felt, then had them feel my hands and told them that they were very sensitive due to the work that I do. Talked about where they were from and what their lives were like. After a while, they moved on.

5. M.
   November 19th, 2008 at 11:35 pm

   [Code: 31kVQUb05XZNcLmlo]

   I’ve always had trouble just conversating. So over the past week I approached several different women, some in 2- or 3- sets, and tried to just talk about whatever came up. Although I did fairly well in “just talkin”, I don’t feel it was the right subjects(?). So I don’t know if it helped me any in feeling comfortable(being able(?)) steering a conversation so as to increase attraction.

   Then again I’m still having a little trouble feeling comfortable in cold approaches.

6. Jay Valens
   November 20th, 2008 at 12:37 am

   Hui - There’s no magic way to not feeling uneasy with people around. Just accept it and do it anyway. When you get past this, especially after a few times, you will see that it’s possible to both feel uneasy about something, but do it anyway. Only then will it become a non-issue.

   What you may be looking for is a way to avoid feeling uneasy. I’m giving you the answer. Accept it, and do it anyway. Have you read the first newsletter that goes out on our main mailing list, the one titled “Confidence = Turning Fear into Courage”? It covers exactly this.

   Lawrence - On your first conversation, keep in mind for your future approaches, when a woman asks where you’re from, even under polite conversation it is a subtle sign of interest. Also, when she said that the publication was, indeed, good, that offers you the opportunity to ask her about something good she got from it recently. Whatever story she relays can then lead to a more interesting interaction.

   The second interaction… feh, whatever. You’re just getting past your willingness to approach in those situations, so it went fine, it’ll get better the more you do it.

   The third interaction. Hm, well, you are giving up too easy on challenging replies back. I think some other “experts” will tell you that you should say X, Y or Z in response, whereas I will suggest that you won’t get such responses in the first place if your vibe was more calibrated. My guess is that you’re not relaxed and casual enough in your body language and that is triggering a challenging put-off type response from the groups. Do some relaxation exercises occasionally.

   The fourth interaction. I’d have said “That’s an amazing coincidence, because my middle name is Karen.” for added humor but beyond that, you did just fine. You handled yourself well in that situation and I think the extra progression you could have made was to gage which one had the most interest and progress a little bit further with her, get a #, etc.

   M. - In time, your comfort with it level will increase. At some some point, even, the approaches will stop feeling “cold” and the vibe that you approach with will be as if you’ve already known the girls for years. You can try practicing that sort of thinking, pretending you already know them. Role-playing is also a great way to handle that, we cover it in both AOTP & AOTP:TT. Girls LOVE role-playing, and when you get the hang of it, you can lead them a lot more easily and it also opens a lot of doors to steering the conversation into more playful and sexual directions.

7. Lawson
   November 23rd, 2008 at 10:22 pm

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   Week 4, Mission 1

   I completed this mission by approaching the most attractive girls I could find in each venue, opening them and their friends, starting a conversation, and bringing up sex in the conversation. I did this twice, and I did it this way:

   A friend of mine is Shaman and is also well versed in Graphology. She gave a lecture at my college in handwriting analysis and said that an interesting way to determine a person’s sexual capacity as well as their capacity for secrecy is to have them write “going going gone” several times in cursive. The loop in the g’s indicating their sexual capacity (big means big and small means small) and their indicating their capacity for secrecy (closed is secretive and opened is not).

   I had already been sitting in a bar/pizza parlor, writing this on a piece of paper before I got the idea to open with this. I went inside the coffee shop next door and dropped the piece of paper on a table on my way to the counter to greet the staff (whom I’ve befriended). On my way back, I slowed down as I passed the girls and stopped in front of them and smiled, making eye contact with both.

   Me: Do you know what it means?
   Cute Persian girls: No, was it that you had disappeared?
   Me: No, actually my friend just gave a lecture on Graphology…

   Then I explained it and had them write it out on the back.

   Their g’s were huge (big g’s=very sexual) so I teased them about this in kind of a “ha, I caught you” sort of way

   Overall, the opener seemed kind of lame to me, seeing as I prefer a more dynamic approach, but both girls were sweet and receptive. It was interesting to see them have a kind of wtf response when I ejected, and this was somewhat flattering.

   In truth, I probably should have stayed, and I regret NOT staying because I know I COULD have. I admit that I was afraid of running out of things to say, and there in lies the problem: I get hung up on trying to be the cool guy. I get stuck in my own head. Bad. I can tell I still have a lot of my work cut out for me because this is something that I really struggle with.

   The next attempt, I did this almost the exact same way at another coffee shop. The girls were even MORE receptive, but again, I ejected early for the aforementioned reason.

   Missions 2 and 3:

   It occurred to me a few weeks ago that learning to seduce is comparable to learning a musical instrument. Both must be learned consciously first before the skill can be streamlined, and both must be practiced regularly in order to be mastered more quickly.

   With this in mind, I decided to approach most of the women I see, every single day. By doing this, I have approached nearly 70 women in the last three weeks.
   Now when I see a girl, the desire to approach her is becoming almost like an automatic response. For the most part, I have used dynamic approaches, and I experiment with different things.

   For example, I took a good friend of mine out with me one night just to walk around the downtown square and maybe get some food. As we were talking, I notice a knockout girl in a beret, black pea coat, black hair, olive skin and knee length black leather boots walking towards us. I told my friend to point at her as if he were a little kid again and she was someone he’d seen on TV, and she giggled and talked to us. It was really only the first thing I could thing of, but I guess it’s one way to stop a girl to talk.

   Anyways, I hope I’m not too late in posting this. Let me know if there’s anything I need to clarify.

   Lawson

8. Lawson
   November 23rd, 2008 at 10:25 pm

   oh PS- I have been working with that same friend on approaching women, and that’s how I completed mission 2. I completed mission 3 by making almost all of my approaches dynamic.

9. Chris
   November 27th, 2008 at 1:04 am

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   Please excuse my poor english, it is not my native language!

   Week 4 Mission 1:
   Though I feel already quite comfortable approaching women in public places (street, bars), i decided to work an another sticking point of mine: dancing :)) So I visited a salsa trial lesson!
   On my way to the spot in the subway, two girls were talking about how easy it is to dodge the fare. So I went over to them in order to check their tickets. It was a very funny conversation, but they utter one refused to give me her number. But who cares?

   When I arrived at the salsa spot, there were already a few young people around, so I started chatting with some male students, and after 5 minutes of small talk, we were about 10 people chatting and introducing each other.

   When the lesson started, I was really excited, because I am a rotten dancer! Well, I think I didn’t hurt anyone!
   After half an hour, the ladies were asked to pick a guy to dance with, but I directly told the cuttest girl that she is going to dance with me. We had quite fun, and after about 5 minutes, we had to change our dancing partner.
   So I managed to dance with 4 quite beautiful girls, within half an hour.

   After the lesson, I adressed the first girl and asked her: “Is there more about you than knowing how to dance salsa?” She came over, sat next to me, an I talked to her for 5 minutes. Then I told her, the she mad me curious about her and I’ll have a hot wine punch (traditional german drink in winter) next tuesday. She answered: “I’ve got a boyfriend… and I’m busy next tuesday” So it was on;-)
   However, I didn’t manage to set up a meeting with her, I stopped after asking for the third time - I didn’t want to sound to needy.

   I’m going to have another salsa trial lesson today.

   Mission 2:
   It is hard for me to find a guy who really wants to improve hisself… Right now, I am helping a buddy to overcome his shyness to approach…

   Mission 3:
   It is really hard to find always a dynamic and situational opener… but I managed doing the 5 + 10 on a shopping mile asking for shops/clothing advices/etc.

10. Edwin
    December 19th, 2008 at 12:09 am

    LbgWWUdASxMzOM1o

    Though game wasn’t easy,life was tougher.Deciding to change was a tough call,but a necessary one.First up was my massive AA which i had to conquer due to cooping myself up for a million years.The solution was to go to night clubs totally alone and open every single set with hot women i saw.It was scary,you start to question yourself if you should be doing this and what would happen.The fact is,others will be more than polite to return a few sentences.The worst off reply i got were ‘FUCK OFF’ screamed so loudly by a 2 set that the whole street could hear then.I swear that after that,I became a fucking machine that had no fear in opening.However,I never seemed to be able to take that further as to how to continue conversations.

11. Jay Valens
    December 19th, 2008 at 2:37 am

    Chris, fantastic effort. I expanded bootcamp with more to come and a little bit more manageable week-to-week, so hopefully that will help even more.

    Edwin, I’m glad you could see that it was no big deal and actually found encouragement to continue. As far as how to continue, try some of the video examples from the blog, be sure to be on our main mailing list, “Pickup Arts”, and for more interaction examples similar to the videos on the blog, our “Tactics & Techniques” DVDs have tons of them.

12. Dell
    February 18th, 2009 at 5:28 am

    Hai, hello, greetings, I’m Adam and I just started the bootcamp today.

    I decided to just utterly remove my most recent interest (let’s call her Aliesha) from my life. I don’t think I’d done much wrong with her, but I felt that she was a whole heap of baggage that I didn’t feel like carrying, and as long as I knew and had contact with her, she’d always be a “possibility.” I didn’t like that frame of thinking, so I just did a total symbolic slate-wiping. Now I can start afresh, so to speak.

    So, this girl, who we shall call Aliesha, borrowed something of mine (a jumper) from a while back. Today I organised to go and get it from her. We met up (I was with two other friends at the time), I pretty much said “Hi”, took the jacket, “bye” and then bailed. When I got home, I removed her number from my phone, her email from MSN, from facebook, etc. I chucked the jumper in the corner of my room, where it’s going to stay for a good long while. Maybe slightly melodramatic, but I still figure that it was for the best.

    ANYWAY. Tomorrow I go out to start the week two missions. The week after, I go back to uni - where I originally met Aliesha. First thing I’m planning to do is pick up a new girl in the precise same room that I first talked to her. :P

    Cheers, Dell.

13. Stance
    March 30th, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Hi!

    SO Mission 1:

    Sorry Jay, but I couldn’t think of anyone or any place that held any kind of “oneitis” significance to me so I went shopping instead.

    This will be my very first approach outside of a pub or club since I found out about PUA but I have followed a couple of resources:

    “The Game” Neil Strauss (complete)

    Fast Seduction website (New player’s guide down to lurking on mASF (bottled the newbie mission :P)

    “Without Embarrassment e-book” Mike Pilinski (Complete)

    Art of the pickup blog (Occasionally)

    “Natural Art of Seduction” Gambler (Complete (In one sitting!!))

    “Having kick-ass confidence” audio series by Mike Pilinski (First stage - visualisation)

    So I’m fairly clued up although didn’t have a cheat sheet at the time I did this last week (do now)

    I was also trying out David Shade’s eye contact experiments whilst walking but decided it would be difficult to stop and open a girl who was wlking on the street - so ducked into the girls section of H&M.

    I had a quick scout as if I was looking at clothes but at a loss and spied a redhead looking at one of the sections.

    I walked up beside her - felt the material of one of the tops on display - and then turned and tried to make it look spontaneous, saying “Hi!”

    She turned and looked a little shocked but replied immediately then looked at me as if I was going to say something else… so I did:

    “I’m looking for a present for a friend of mine, I was thinking something like this:” pointed at the shirt I’d just felt “but I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Can you give me some help?”

    So we chat about clothes for a little while whilst I gradually increase the speed and gesturing so the conversation feel exciting - and I try to find out something about her (hook) - in this case what she does for a living:

    Stance: “Wow! You’re really good at this! So you do it for a living?”

    HBRedhead: “No, I work with drug users”

    So I know she’s proabably a community concsious and caring person - So I ask her questions about what she does specifically and then tell her about some charity work I’ll be doing in Uganda - which leads us nicely onto finding out if she enjoys travelling.

    Redhead seems to be getting into the conversation - and I’ve been practicing some light kino (arms and shoulder) but now she’s doing it back and laughing loud and seeming really happy (I am too - buzzing in fact)

    Whilst talking about her university experience 2 years ago I take her hand and it seems perfectly natural - so I put my arm around her lower back.

    I decide to escalate at this point and start actually seducing so I slow the pace of the conversation right down and change the nature of my Eye-contact - she seems to pick up on the signals quite well and I actually lead back into the conversation about clothes - so we’re back where we were but now it’s as if we are a couple, and I’m hoping it makes her feel comfortable - as if we’ve known eachother longer than a few minutes.

    I suddenly say “Oh! My name’s Stance by the way” and she tells me hers is Cat.

    More fluff.

    Stance “Oh! I’ve really gotta go - I’m meeting some friends but I feel like we could talk for hours” Cat agrees - I get her number and leave.

    After this my plan was to do more approaches but I’m so excited and pumped up it actually has a negative affect on my confidence - so I walk around town for a bit but decide it’s best I come again another day.

14. Aussie Yank
    May 15th, 2009 at 5:54 am

    ok yea so bootcamp:
    i met this girl (courtney) at the pub with me mates. I pushed pulled her for awhile. She started insisting on buying me drinks ;). We went to the beach nearby and while we were making out she said her house was just a block and away and that it would be more comfortable. i said “sure” then we went back to her place. we got there and room mate was freaking out about her boyfriend and she was crying and everything so i got courtney’s number and left. it went pretty good.
    i tried working on this girl at the college and i made a move to kiss her and she backed away and said it was too soon so i left. I was soo chicken i didn’t even get her number. i think i just moved on her to fast but my problem to me
    is advoiding dancing because i suck and where i live thats pretty much it
    idk its pretty much either i full on get the girl or i strike out

15. lawrenceiswhoiam
    June 30th, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Weirdly enough a girl I know who works in the office across from me told me about a book called The Game.
    I started reading it at the local book store and found this site amongst many others. I’ve never had good luck with getting the women I want. I’ve had good looking ones(rich, models,and militairy), but they all turned into long relationships.
    So I met this girl at the book store not trying but I got her number. We talked a little and she says to me that she has a boyfriend and she wont cheat on him and she feels like I’m tryin to make a move on her. I told her that’s great she feels that way but she isn’t my type. She continues on to talk and then tells me “meet me at the mall close to my house”. I didn’t because I’m with my girl already on the other side of town. What would you guys do from this point on?

    Further more, the girl that told me about the book. I really want to get something started with her. What would you do in a case like that?

    There is a woman in the same building I work in that is a 10!! I want to talk to her but she doesn’t seem to friendly. I remember a few months back I said hello and she just looked at kept walking. How would I approach her again?

16. Jay Valens
    July 1st, 2009 at 3:42 am

    lawrenceiswhoiam, you have her number, follow up with her at your convenience. Don’t worry about what she said, she’s just letting you know indirectly that discretion is important to her. So this is the sort of thing you need to signal to her that you understand (don’t say it directly, only imply it through your understanding her situation).

    I have no idea what to tell you about the girl who referred the book to you. You might as well open up a phone book, pick a random female name, and ask for advice on how to meet that specific girl. She referred the book to you for a reason - get in contact with her, let her know you’ve been reading it and tell her that you’re curious why she recommended it to you. That will provide some insight for you. Understanding what kind of girl she is will also help you out.

    I notice something consistent with you from your single comment - you don’t appear to take time to observe anything about the girls themselves. Maybe I’m wrong, but you’re asking for advice on how to follow up with 3 girls, none of which you have described in any way, other than to refer to one of them as a 10, which I’ll take a wild stab in the dark and presume she’s not actually a 10 and you’re just inflating her in your mind.

    Do you know what this bootcamp section is for? It’s for guys on our mailing list to post their experiences following through with my email-based bootcamp, not to ask for random advice on vague situations. Join the mailing list and go through the bootcamp. The kind of questions you asked here will end up answering themselves and you will end up with much better questions to ask.

17. Lawrenceiswhoiam
    July 1st, 2009 at 6:02 am

    Sir yes Sir. Thanks for the response and I’ll be starting my mission today!

18. WildcardRomeo(Flash)
    July 19th, 2009 at 10:16 am

    aZDVGs1nMDcAPj3l

    Mission 1: I got your email about 4days ago.. So I arranged one of my girlfriends to come down..I have a really big problem with feet but Im really good at foot massages (I dont know how) and I gave her a foot massage, according to samuel Jackson and John Travolta thats a very sexual act haha.. well i did that and yesterday night (mission 2) i went out with my freind Rob and we went to this club.. cut a long story short we took this girl back he knows but was too shy to ask her out or something.. I was staying at his, his mother was upstairs so I told her to be quiet or ill gag her lol.. We were sat on the sofa and she joined us (I.O.I) so I started rubbing her feet to get her in the mood then started talking bout her and Rob like they where a couple.. I said I was tired and I was gonna take Robs bed and they will have to share the sofa, they agreed (I.O.I) so I did mission 1 and 2 on the same night :D! He is also dating her now. I dont know if my attempts at the missions are that good but my confidence is growing and im getting noticed a bit more because of my openness (like in my walk I look confident etc)

19. Amarielias
    October 16th, 2009 at 11:20 pm

    Code.- hLh7DsKgnEoAQXg6

    Jay & Ray, u guys are the realiest mothaf****s and dats wats up, SIRS!
    I’m tellin u there’s nthin out there like wat u guys are providing. Keep doin da damn thang! Enough of tht, dnt want u gtn TOO full of urselves, lol.

    Mission 1 and 2:
    B4 I start, I’ll b the 1st 2 admit “I’m a bit of a wild child” so the unexpected is expected. Even tho I’ve neva had prolbms approaching women and being successful, I personally believe tht u cn never stop learnin, especially if the reward gets u btwn the legs of a HB(s)(I prefer the plural ;-). This mission is a mixture of both fear and fantasy. I’ve always wanted to approach a group of business dressed girls who were either in a restaurant or a fancy hotel or cafe and offer to giv each of them a lap dance and to pay them a penny each cause I know I woul b in their thoughts later haha no pun intended.
    So after joinin dis bootcamp, you Sirs were the boot-to-me-bum in order to get it poppin hence this weeks mission. So I did it! I was in a starbuck dis past monday(I hd the dai off ha) readin the paper, when 4 fine HBs walked in:1 blonde(Michelle) 3 brunettes(lisa, violet and chrissy) Mi god! dressed in their professional facade - mini-shirts dress suits(freaks in sheeps clothin). They were oh so sexi all w long flowing hair, sexi legs and ass fo days, I wanted them ALL! so afta a while I walked up n ntroducd mislf and b4 I coul even go n2 mi mission, michelle picked up on me accent (british). Smiling as I sai this, her exact words were “I lov english accents especialli on black sexi men”I replied with “then you’ll lov me on u” and gav her a wink. oh did I mention tht I LOV blondes?!
    She blushed and invited me to join them. That’s when the conversation got realli hot touchin topics from the usual “where u frm” to the city and its nightlife, how their days goin, the economy and the healthcare over-haul and the like and finalli, sex(brought up by michelle, the hot blonde, looks a lot like britney spears). They said they were playin hooky(so I kinda thought they wanted sme fun).
    So I made my mov, I tol them my fantasy and I immediateli saw the glow of excitement in their eyes. Then I asked if they had any. Michelle said she’s alwys wanted to be done by a black man and I immediateli responded w “dependin on how bad of a girl uve been perhaps I’ll make ur lap dance extra special”.and thts when it happened, they other three asked “wat about us” I said tht there was always room for more. And they all smiled. My god I thought I was dreamin cus just after joining this camp, dis happens. Ahmm THANK YOU lol! I invited them to mi place to see if they wanted to hv sme fun and fo some weed and alcohol(the decidin factor) and all 4 came(again, no pun intended, well maybe jus dis 1 time lol). Chrissy asked if I had a friend so I called mi boy whose girl had jus left him and was a lil bit n da dumps - took a lot of convincin to do but he cme thru. we partied and did our thing, w me and mi boi doing all 4 of these girls the same dai tht I met them. I’ve also hooked up w michelle 2ce since then and her other friend(jonell) who I jus met the other dai.I’ve also been talkin to and hookin up w girls from mi job and the gym.

    I’ve always been a bit of nympho, wantin to b wit as many women as I can b4 I die referencin the song ‘every girl’ by lil wayne and Kanye) and w dis bootcamp its now multiplied by 10 (u’ve created a monster, Sirs!)

    Mission 3
    I’ve been approachin at least 4 women a dai makin convo w every HB tht I find an interest in pickin out somethng that stands out frm their appearance somethng tht u cn tell they took time on, hair shoes outfit(style and colous) anythng to spark a convo. Todai fridai had lunch w a co-worker and ended up shaggin her in her car in the parkin lot and tomorrow I’m hvn dinner w a cashier tht I met at macys after work todai

20. Nikola
    October 18th, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    well, I am super good with women ,I can make them love me,I can make them laugh,I don’t let them control me ,ect..
    I do the pick ups everytime I’ll see some interesting girl.
    The only BIG problem I have is that I haven’t have balls to kiss them lol ,
    I can, but it’s very long process and my legs starting to shake,my words stop coming out,and I’m starting to act like a wussy.
    Because of that it is often they to do the first kiss.
    I don’t want to have this shyness,nervousness, to kiss them (the first kiss).

21. Nikola
    October 18th, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    cH1L9g5lZUQbsim

    sorry I forgot the code in my last comment ,there it is

22. Jay Valens
    October 18th, 2009 at 11:42 pm

    Amarielias, a kick in the pants is what some guys need. Sometimes it makes the biggest difference - taking action versus not taking action.

    I think you have a good attitude and it shows in how you write, just at the same time you might want to consider improving your writing. I have no idea if that advice will affect your skill face-to-face with women but if you ever have to follow up with them in writing (email, chat, etc) or eventually land a good one for a relationship, it’s something you’ll want to consider improving on.

23. Jay Valens
    October 18th, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    Nikola, if you want to test the waters and try a ballsy move, read this:

    http://www.fastseduction.com/n....._her.shtml

    I think you’re getting nervous about it because you’re outcome dependent. You want her to accept the kiss AND like it AND probably have things go good after that, but you’re hesitating and nervous because you’re thinking too much about what will happen.

    I gave you the link above because it will help you see it as a fun process. If you focus on it as being fun and not worry about the outcome, you won’t even remember any nervousness, you’ll just know how to get int he mode and “do it” with relative ease.

24. Ling
    November 1st, 2009 at 8:46 am

    [Code: ZuJg6BzR9kQwoQ2c]

    You guys are really great! I ‘ve learned from you.
    In the missons, I got a girl of 22, and enccounter a problem.
    The girl I meet in my misson, I use some technics you’ve introduced, and attracted her succefully. Three days after we meet, we r naked in bed, hug tight and kiss hard, but she just don’t let me in.
    and i am sure she is a virgin, she allowed me to take a look on her virginal membranes.
    when i do my best to seduce her , i feel she want to make love too, because it get very wet below.
    but she said, she is a Christ, and can not do it before marrige.
    And she will reserve her virgin for me before marrage.
    I know the anti-slat defence and handle it before, but, is it more stronger in the virgins?
    How can I go through?

    longing for your help and some creative idea,
    thanks.

25. Jay Valens
    November 2nd, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    Ling… “virginal membranes”?

    You’re being to analytical over this. Girls who are real virgins won’t have anti-slut defenses, they are simply more protective of their bodies.

    If she is going to just be an additional girl you want to have sex with, then you’re better off not pushing it with her - otherwise her long-term experience of it won’t be good.

    Her being Christian or her beliefs aren’t as relevant as her personal experience of it. If she’s fearful of the experience, or if she feels like you will just see her as someone else to have sex with, then it won’t happen.

    She needs to feel relaxed, safe, and not be concerned that you’ll lose interest in her after sex. If you know you just want to “get in there” or aren’t really that interested in her except for sex, then I will tell you honestly that you’re just going to create a headache for you and a bad experience for her. Otherwise, understand what I just described as her most likely perspective in the matter.

    ~Jay

26. Ling
    November 2nd, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    Thanks.
    I feel you are definitely a master. Just at a glance, you ‘ve seen through all the matters trouble me before.
    You are right. Though she always says, she like to, and cann’t help to want to be with me, but she feel no safty and certain about the future, and really want someone to protect her, about which i ‘ve told her i cann’t give her any promise about anything. And I ‘ve told her, I have lots of girl friends before, whether be with me is her choice. I do so just want to avoid the trouble when we break up some day.
    So, i think i ‘d better follow your advice, since I just want to have sex with her. To avoid the “headache”, and not to hurt her, i will avoid having sex with her.

    BUT, there comes a question to my mind: cann’t we pick up virgins, because of the possible “headache” for ourselves and the “bad experience” for themselves?

    Cann’t wait for your reply, thanks!

27. Jay Valens
    November 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    Of course virgins are just as valid to pursue as any kind of girl, just where it matters is if what you’re willing to accept in order to get what you want.

    It’s sort of like deciding you want to be a teacher - you have to have a genuine willingness to want to “shepherd” a flock of open minds. Some things we do in life bear a responsibility and if we’re not willing to burden ourselves with them then we have to be dishonest with our intentions.

    I don’t teach ethics, I certainly am not interested in giving anyone advice on right or wrong, it’s all about you.

    It sounds like you are honest with her and you would have to lie to her and do the things that you know would harm her emotionally to get what you want from her physically. So you’re left with a few options, all valid when not in the context of morals or ethics:

    - Don’t do anything more, move on
    - Lie to her, get what you want, potentially hurt her feelings
    - Be honest with her and hope for the best
    - Understand her belief systems and influence them so that you get what you want without hurting her feelings

    You wouldn’t be sharing your experience here if the first option was acceptable to you, even if you say it is.

    You’ve already been honest with her, so we can strike out the next 2, except for the “hope for the best” part. Let’s change that to the last option. The last option is the one guys usually don’t consider - which puts you in a position of swimming upstream.

    If you can’t easily swim upstream, and don’t want to swim downstream, then the solution is to change the course of the stream to flow in the direction you want.

    It’s a little too complex for a blog reply, but ultimately the one way to get what you want from her without also hurting her is to change her belief about the meaning, importance or sanctity of her virginity. Not directly, but through persuasive stories and experiences.

28. Ling
    November 3rd, 2009 at 7:20 am

    Thanks for such a classic and thoughtful and vivid explanation, especially the four choices listed.
    Since there is a way to get her physically and won’t hurt her, I ‘d like to have a shot, at least I can get some experiance next time.
    I’ll try my best to change her belief about her virginity, just like you’ve said, and wait for her “yes” before sex. If there is no progress in 4 weeks, I ‘ll have to draw back. Your tips about “persuasive stories and experiences”, to be honest, I have no idea now, but I ‘ll try to find some materials and sharing my experiance and problems here later.
    Wish me good luck, and thanks for your excellent guidance. It is very useful!

29. Cocommbus
    November 8th, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Well so this week I did it for the first time. As I went outside of the bus I saw a girl about 16-18 , i am only 20. I told her i had to tell her something, and then I said ” you got beautiful hair” and she lauughed and said thank you and kept walking, so i wasn’t muich allowed to present myself. Then I continued my way and felt really weird inside.

30. Le_faucheur
    December 5th, 2009 at 4:50 am

    Code: dwvmH29AO0lo8uqbs

    Week 4 - Mission 3, day 1

    I took the time to go to a nearby shopping centre before I went to work. I went to the shop to fullfill the mission assigment, but realized I could at the same time look for a present for my friend who just finished high-school (I’m 19 years old, yeah). So, I ended up using the exact same opening on girls the whole time:
    -Excuse me, could you help me?
    -her response, pause
    -I’m looking for a present for a friend who just finished high-school, you have any ideas?”
    Then I pause, and hear their responses, and continue ”
    -My friends is a 19-year old guy, and he’s a nice and sociall guy who does wild and crazy things, so that, as he says, when he is a 70-year old ancient hag he has then plenty of memories to think about This usually gets some kind of a positive reaction (laugh or a smile), and if the girls are even now blank of ideas, I just get on with -
    So think: if you were a fun and social person, what would you like to have for a present?” and sometimes add -
    Well, maybe you already are nice and social, how do I know?”
    So then on one occasion when I was talking to two girls and having a nice conversation (I made fun them, they laughed a lot), I just put up my hand and said “So, who are you girls by the way?” and we introduced each other and I asked them for their email/facebook. The other girl gave her facebook, the other (the prettier one) didn’t, no big deal.
    One other girl I talked to, I shared a nice funny story, and then after the question and a little bit of chit-chat I just put out my hand saying thank you for help. She said there it was nice meeting me, so I took the hint, and asked her for her name and how could I find her on facebook.

    Quick notice: Asking for facebook is quite easy, maybe easier then for emila or phonenumber. Everybody wants to have more friend in the facebookand the treshhold to give your facebook-name is thus pretty low. But an additional bonus is that in the facebook you can often learn something about the other person, usually her age or if she has a boyfriend or not. So there were day 1’s fice approaches.

    Oh, and I also did the the first approaching task from mission 1 finally. Walked behind a girl, said ”excuse me”, commented what a nice hair she had, and put out my hand saying my name. Well, she wasn’t too keen on me, she didn’t shake my hand, and just looked me like I was a weirdo. Well, I continued the chat about the hair topic, but she wasn’t interested so I just soon left her wishing heer a good day.

    Week 4 – Mission 3, day 2
    So today was going to be the day of my friend’s party and we were still not sure to which bar or club we should head in the evening. So on my way to my friend’s place I started talking to group of girls (started with the comment ”are you girls 18?) in a train. And then in a crowded, a girl was sitting near to me, so I asked her about some tips about the bars. This was a big step for me because it was in my head that everybody could hear and see what I was doing.. but I did it anyway. So, the conversation went ok, but there wasn’t that much vie, so I just that stopped then talking to her. So, next I’m rising to bus and spot a ncie girl, I ask her also about the bars and in the bus the conversation proceedes and I leave with her facebook info.
    Many many hours later me and my buddies come to a night club. I see a lot of old college friends and chat with them a lot. On the way to the dance floor I spot two girls, and open with ”You don’t seem like you are here to party because you just finished high school (they didn’t have those kinds of hats on). And the prettier girls responded no, that used to be some time ago. So I start teasing her about her age, that how when she is an old grandma the foot already standing on a grave and she she can just look at all these young people with envy and nostalgia. I also turn away from the prettier one to chat with her not-so-pretty other friend, she’s not interested so i contunie with the prettier one. Soon she asks me about me age, I take a step back, smile and say, have guess. She starts with 21, and in the end I reveal I’m 19. Then I guess her age, start with 70, and when she says younger, I go for 3, but my real guess is 20. Turns out she’s 24. So, I just say I’ll be going, and ask her for her facebook; she gives her name.
    I spot two girls sitting on a sofa next to a dance floor. I have them rise up from the sofa to greet me and start talking to them, no succes, so I soon leave. After some mental battering – I’m not feeling like a real ladie’s man at this point – I go downstairs, spot a hot girl in the middle on the stairs – she has her hands crossed and a weary expression on her face. I open with ”Geek, your facial expression, and your look, you seem like you had just slaughtered a whole bar full of people. She laughs and says she i just cold, because she is waiting for her coat. I tease with ”Well, no matter what you shoudn’t go dancing and head upstairs where it’s warmer” She laughs and says that she’s just cold and waiting for her jacket, but in positive way - we are having a positive vibe. Then, she spots downstairs on some man with her jacket and says ”Oh, there’s my jacket, got to go.” So in the end I just say ”Yeah, like you’re just cold, well you can always try if they believe that when you’re in prison.” She laughs and leaves, I’m feeling good, but still, I should have asked her for her facebook info.
    Pitkä, vaaleenpunaset kengät
    Again, some mental battering and psyching up. I spot two sexy girls around a table (a big table, there are more people laso), they hold some eye-contact with me when I walk by, so I go to them, open up in sit next to the girl. I say how I noticed how they looked me ”as I were like just a piece of meat. And said that it was a bit… insulting. They say that it’s men who materialize women, but it does seem that women are doing that also” and lean back. The girl’s just look at each other in awe and lough, but don’t go on with the conversation. I continue with something but it’s evident that the girl I’m sitting next is not into me. I try to use some push-pull techniques on her (comment how she has a pretty face, but how her folded eyebrowns make her look like 20 years older), with no succes. After some effort I leave saying how she doesn’t seem to be interesting enough for me. At this point I’m not so confident about myself, but I realize I already have started 10 converstations with women today. I walked around the bar saying I can’t leave it to this, I’ve got to give it one more try. ”Always finnish with a good throw”, like the jugglers say.

    My comment is to be continued later next day as I have another friend’s parties today to which I must now head to.

31. Jay Valens
    December 5th, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    1 time or result doesn’t define an entire purpose. Do it a few more times and try some follow-ups. You’ve got more steps to get through. I don’t care if you feel weird inside doing this, I want you to meet new girls, and I bet not having a girl in your life when you want to is a worse feeling than feeling weird inside temporarily. Try harder.

32. nomada73
    April 26th, 2010 at 9:32 am

    Code: J3JGB4Oa67QVwwGZ

    The thing that I fear most with women - just going to them and initiate a conversation. And maintaining it once started.

    So I’ll tell you the three most remarkable conversations I’ve had lately. No actual pickup followed, but, hey, baby steps…

    1) On the grocery store. I was buying deodorant and was so fed up with trying to choose a scent and my nose was all numb already. I looked right…a girl…and then a lightbulb over my head. I looked her in her eye and said “Excuse, could I ask for your opinion?”. I was expecting weird looks, but the girl just said “of course! which ones are you deciding between?”.

    2) Girl I met over IRC and who we have had quite a bunch of conversations, and share our taste in music, etc. BTW she lives in a town quite far from mine. IOW, it seems directed straight to “just friends” territory. However, this past weekend I had to travel to another town for some private business and casually mentioned to her that we could meet because her town was in the middle of the route and was the perfect occasion for a pit stop. To my amazement (because she’s rather timid and afraid) she made no objections and we met over a coke. We talked a lot, there was some kino involved which SHE initiated, and I used my needing to continue travel as an excuse to cut the conversation while the going was still good. Minutes after I receive an SMS thanking me for the pleasure of meeting me and for making it easy for her, and we convened to meet again on the back trip. Sadly, an engagement with her family prevented it and she called me to inform me of that and sincerely saying that she didn’t want it to sound like excuses and that she realle wanted to have had dinner with me and that whenever I want we can meet up in some town halfway from our respective ones for dinner, and that she will be paying.

    3) Once I arrived to my destination, it being a town in which I used to live but where I had not lived for a year, I enter a store, I recognize that the clerk is the one I liked a bit while I was still married and living there and just as I’m paying something makes me say to her “it’s been a long time…” To my surprise she smiles and says “sure it’s been. What have you been up to?” I do exactly that, still dizzy from noticing that not only she even remembered me, but she remembered having not seen me for a long time. We part with a smile, something I had NEVER seen her do while working. NExt day I find her again, this time not behind the counter but ordering the aisles and tell her how what I had come for was finished to everybody’s satisfaction and she was genuinely glad for it. I said “hope we meet again”, but instead of just going away I walked up to her to give her the customary kiss-on-each-cheek greeting/goodbye we use in our country when talking to a friend of the opposite sex. But the good thing is that what prompted me to walk to her and kiss her cheeks was that I thought I was seeing subtle signals that she was EXPECTING me to do it.
    I know, I should have got her number, but I didn’t think it was profitable to do that for a girl who lives 800 kms away and I might never see again ;)

33. Jay Valens
    April 26th, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    nomada73, you’re doing fine. What you should definitely do is KEEP this behavior up. You’ve got the right attitude and are going to progress just fine. If you ever feel stuck in your progress, don’t forget that the DVDs will help guide you. Don’t try to memorize everything, but rather step through them at the same stage & pace as your progress, try to focus mainly on getting from A to B, then focus on getting from B to C, then C to D, etc. Too many guys want to try to go from A to Z immediately. Patience & regular (and positive) effort will be way more fruitful.

34. Mercenary
    June 14th, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    code: 6slK7BQlRV6Qbv1D
    I was afraid to approach on a central street of town where i’m study now. But there wasnt any problems with other places (parallel street or even lake beach when i approached 7-set, used our russian opener “can u guard my stuff - i need to go out for a minute”, and after i returned i used canned “who lies more” and kept convo for 10 minutes then went away). So i was really thinking what kind of fear it may be (back in Russia, i havent anything of those dealing with “central street”). I decided - it is probably “fear of society”,and i came at 6 p.m. on the central sqare of our town (it’s not bigger then half-soccer field) and i did stand in front of cafe full of people, and with a full volume start to sing the Anthem of USSR ( i’m in Germany by the way ;) ), so everybody in radius 100 meters perfectly heard my song. Then i said : Thank you(i dont speak german). And slowly went away (somebody applaused, like 5-7 people). Right after that - i went to the central street and start approaching. Now i do it dayly - it became my favorite TRP. Opening now go good, even situational (ratio of canned/situational like 60/40), closing is not cool so far - but i working on it ). Back in Russia - i never did this journal stuff or forum things, but now i see how useful they are. But it was easier in Russia at least for me, there i used our PU model, and did it for 3 weeks (then i started to do my diploma project and was totaly out of life - for a month, who did tha will undertand me). and for three weeks i get laid 2 girls. Son now when my game is not so effective - i use this positive memories as a motivation factor. So 5 days a week i do 3-5 approaches daily. Planning to increase amount to 10-12 - tomorrow. I got question, i’m a day gamer - i prefer street and any other place during the day. But i read that night club PU is easier. I tryed it here - it was actually the first place where i started to practise Mystery Method, i approached 4 different 2-sets. But every time when i go to a club - it is like raping myself. i dont like environment, hate club music. For whole my life i’ve been in night club just twice. But if i in some kind of resort place (hotel, cruise etc), i always attend disco there - and that is seems natural and cool for me(like dancing with a girl on a table, or kiss her in front of everybody). Frame is different. Jay can you tell me please - should i just go in clubs and work it out till i reduce this “raping” feeling, or i just need to concentrate on day game, and dont really do stuff which i dont like and not enjoy.

35. Jay Valens
    June 14th, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    One type of environment being easier than another is more about what your goals are and level of experience & confidence in the environment. Confidence comes from knowledge and familiarity, so in places you’re not yet familiar, knowledgeable or comfortable, it will take some practice and experience to get better.

    In a club environment, more people see it as “normal” if they talk to strangers there, so in that sense it’s easier than day game. It’s also more natural to collect phone numbers. Also, if you know what you’re doing, a lot quicker to get into a sexual encounter. However, night clubs are also harsh social environments where the interactions people have with each other are extremely de-valued.

    Day time, you will not encounter this harshness but you also have to calibrate a lot better with the wide possible rand of girls and moods and situations. It’s also easier to “walk away” mentally in day game since you can walk a block and you’re already outside of an area which you might have a bad experience. In a club, you’re basically stuck in the same box/location for the night and you need a thicker skin to deal with potentially unfriendly reactions.

    Here’s what I suggest you do, presuming you feel that the social environments in clubs are something you want to conquer:

    Go to a club once every 2 weeks, maybe more, maybe less, depending on your schedule and how much you can tolerate it. However, don’t give up on your normal day game. You need consistency so that you don’t allow anything negative you feel from one environment overshadow other things you do. That way you know if you don’t do so well one night in a club, you have the rest of the week doing things that you feel work better for you, and you can relieve most of your anxieties over it that way. It will allow you a way to not put so much emphasis on what result you might get from clubs, and that might be a key to help you not feel like being in a club is somehow like being “raped”.

    If after a couple of months your feelings don’t change and you don’t see any improvement in your life coming from club time, then don’t bother with it. No sense in wasting time in your life doing something that isn’t giving you results, even when you put good effort in, and especially if it doesn’t make you happy. So long as you are doing SOMETHING in your life that you are finding positive and getting you the results that you like, then you’re fine. There’s no rule of life that says a guy has to go to night clubs to have a successful social life.

36. Mercenary
    June 16th, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    6slK7BQlRV6Qbv1D
    Today i did arrangment for a date. So here is the report:
    HB7 - my neighbor (next floor), she likes me (keeps eye contact more than 5 second, smiling, all the time when sees me - looking at me). 4 days ago i approached her (before that i didnt know her, i’m new in that house), opened situationally, 10 minutes of convo, some DHV routine, some mind reading, and sh gave me her number without resistance. And now it starts classical “Push”. I’ll explain: Today i came to her place for a date arrangement, so i rang the ring, she opened a door, we start to talk (firstly she said she even dont have a 10 minutes, but we spoke 15 or more),,i negged her slightly, then i started to elicit her values, recognize when she have a free time, so whole convo went realy good (positive, jokes from both sides,). But every time when i was insistant and that way or another spoke about what we can do together , and set up the dates, she said something like: i’m busy (she told she got 2 jobs, and study, and session soon), i have no time for anything except things in the brackets. I said , ok - there is nothing works on sundays, so you cant work that day for sure. and she said that she will sit whole day in her room with her neighbor (another girl) and study for a session. I changed a topic, and after couple minutes said - that i need to go, to do my busyness. So she starts classical “Push” phase. I plan to do the same for 4 days. Cut the contacts, no convos etc. What else should i do to make her chase me? Cause it looks like she know the game and plays her part. For example, in Russia we do a trick with an first SMS, like: “I found something interesting about you” or “I told fortune on you with Taro cards, and things which i seen - shocked me”, and after that at least 4 hours (better 24) of total ignorance. That way person get interested and keep thinking about the sender. Works in 95% of case. BUT she dont respond. So as i told before, looks like this cat know what she is doing. What is the best way for me to get her for a date? Thank you very much for the answer.

37. Jesse
    June 17th, 2010 at 10:13 am

    code - 2lWSwofZoBbnD3112

    Hey I’ve been out of town so I am a little behind on this, but the thing I am most afraid of is TOUCHING girls. I get stuck in friendzone a lot and I think it’s because I do great in interactions, but don’t advance physically… like at all.

    The first girl I tried this on, I was focusing on finding a way to touch her instead of the convo. When I did reach out and brush her hand with mine (while laughing as if that would cover it up) she wasn’t weirded out, but I could tell it felt strange for the both of us.

    The second time, I was sitting next to a girl in a bar on a cruise ship (why I’ve been out of town, whoop whoop!) just shooting the shit and I realized our shoulders were touching. I heard somewhere that it’s more natural to touch someone while they are responding to you, so I leaned into her shoulder as she spoke and leaned back when I spoke.
    After a while she started speaking more as if she was trying to keep me closer to her. It reinforced the “women WANT to be touched, it’s natural” feeling for me… but I still have a little work to do on that.

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